Billy Masters 06.16.22

"I thought I was searching for a Disney Prince, but maybe what I really needed was a Disney Princess!"

—Rebel Wilson discusses how she came to the realization that she might be gay. Sigh...they're always the last to know.

How do you spell Pride? Many of my readers spell it "C-H-E-R". Throw in a bit of Versace, and it's a match made in gay heaven! Cher says she was thrilled to work with her "dear friend Donatella " for "Chersace"—which, I swear to you, looks better on a T-shirt than it does in print. The limited edition mini-collection supports Gender Spectrum, raising funds for LGBTQ youth. "Donatella and I have been dear friends for a lifetime. It just felt right for our very first collaboration to be one about LGBTQ Pride and celebrating a community that means so incredibly much to both of us." Happy Pride.

Perhaps it's simply happenstance that the Tony Awards typically take place during Pride month. It's as if someone realized that the gays enjoy theatre! Kudos to Ariana DeBose , who was a dynamic (if slightly frenetic) host. The primetime Tony presentation kicked off with the "Featured Actor in a Play" going to Jesse Tyler Ferguson for "Take Me Out"—which also won "Best Revival". The iconic Patti LuPone won her third Tony for "Company". And speaking of "Company", Matt Doyle'swin was surely a memorable moment. This all led to the show winning "Best Revival of a Musical" and Marianne Elliott being named "Best Director of a Musical". Lastly, how thrilling for "A Strange Loop" to be named "Best Musical"—I can't wait to see it. Congrats to all!!

Beanie Feldsteinhas Covid. I share the news because many of you wanted to see "Funny Girl", but didn't want to see Beanie. And that's a problem since she is the aforementioned girl (although, if reports are to be believed, more amusing than funny). "I just found out that I tested positive for Covid, so unfortunately I'm gonna be out of the show for a little while to keep everybody safe. I'm vaxxed and I am boosted, and I am very grateful to not be feeling too bad. I'm just really bummed to miss seeing you all at the theatre and I can't wait to get back onstage very soon." If you're fleet of foot, you could get to see her understudy, the reportedly terrific Julie Benko.

Since it is Pride Month, I feel it's worth mentioning that Beanie recently came out as a lesbian. So at least she has company while she's recuperating.

Lots of people have asked why Pamela Andersononly stayed in "Chicago" for three months. Most of the "stunt casted" celebs in "Chicago" sign on for three months at a time—with an option to extend. As good as she was, Pam did not fill every seat in the house. So my hunch is that the producers did not offer her a financially appealing extension. But, fear not—the stunts keep coming, with the return of Jennifer Holliday as Mama Morton (replacing the irreplaceableBrenda Braxton). This is kinda a homecoming for Holliday, who played the role in the summer of 2001. She signed on for—say it with me—three months! Should you have missed Pam in the part, you can see footage of her in "Chicago" exclusively on BillyMasters.com.

The revival of "Take Me Out" brought in record numbers for its final week on Broadway. According to whoever tallies these things, it had the second highest capacity of 98.67%, just behind "The Music Man" at 99.93% (and woe be to that 0.07% of a person who missed out). That popularity was borne out by the double Tony wins for "Best Revival of a Play" and "Featured Actor" for Ferguson. Here's a fun fact—didya know that he is one of only two people in the play who was NOT nude? Sure, everyone talks about Jesse Williams' nude scene, but what about the others? After all, they took showers too. What if I told you that a new video has fallen into my lap? And here you not only see Williams from a different (and vivid) vantage point, but the rest of the cast—and in various degrees of fluffedness. Celebrate your love of the theatre by checking out these exclusive clips on our website.

You know you're a success when you get sued. I fondly remember Colin Farrell threatening to sue me after I released his sex tape. In my defense, how could I ignore footage of a nude Farrell asking his partner to "show me your pussy" only to have the camera focus on a cat? Needless to say, the suit was dropped and we later shared a laugh and a pint. Paramount Pictures is being sued for copyright infringement regarding the sequel to "Top Gun". Apparently the very first "Top Gun" was inspired by a piece in "California" magazine way back in 1983. The story was optioned, meaning the authors were paid and received screen credit. Now, I'm no legal expert, but seems to me that if a story inspired the first film, then the sequel would also be inspired by that story. And the authors agree with me, calling "Top Gun: Maverick" "derivative"—which I reckon you could call any Tom Cruiseflick! The rights to the article—which inspired the original and, hence, the sequel—reverted to the original authors in January of 2020. Stay tuned.

Sometimes a suit is simply a nuisance (see Colin Farrell and his pussy). Mariah Carey has been sued for copyright infringement over "All I Want for Christmas Is You". Let's briefly forget that Mimi's version came out in 1994, which begs the question, where were these prospective original composers for the past 28 years? It is true that Andy Stone wrote his "All I Want for Christmas Is You" which was released in 1989. And it did indeed get what is termed as "extensive airplay" during the 1993 holiday season. In fact, it reached 55 on Billboard's Hot Country Singles—which is nothing to sneeze at. Stone is suing for "copyright infringement and unjust enrichment". However, experts state that the only similarity between the two songs is the title—which is not copyrightable. I listened to Stone's version, and find not a single melodic similarity. Mind you, the song is not without merit. In 2021, Kelly Clarkson covered it on her holiday effort, "When Christmas Comes Around..." Frankly, I think Andy should be grateful he got to deal with Clarkson and didn't have to bother with any of that Butterfly bullshit.

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Justin in San Francisco: "I followCole Sprouse on Instagram, and saw he had a selfie where I think he was nude — except part of it was blocked out. He wrote, 'Good morning to my publicity team.' Do you have the uncensored version?"

A follow-up question came from one of my proofreaders, who asked which Sprouse boy was Cole. He's the one who played Jughead on "Riverdale". Dylan starred in the short film "Daddy". Here's a fun fact about the Sprouse boys—they were born in Italy! Anyway, onto Justin's question. The photo in question was indeed of Cole nude bending over with his back to a full-length mirror, and taking the photo over his shoulder into the mirror. So, what he basically photographed was his ass, but given the odd angle it looks...well, see for yourself on BillyMasters.com.

When we know which Sprouse is which, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Yeah, I know—LONG! I'm not talking about this column, I'm talking about that shower scene which you can see on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that ain't always squeaky clean! If you've got a question, dash it off to [email protected], and I promise to get back to you before Cole turns the other cheek. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.