Billy Masters 07.25.24
"All of my gay friends were like, 'Honey, I saw your text messages. That's it?!' They go, 'Oh my God, if people hacked into Grindr and put Grindr chats public, none of us would have jobs anymore!'"
- Armie Hammer tells Bill Maher reactions to his so-called scandalous texts. This begs the question - what does it take to become one of Armie's gay friends?
Being in Europe, you get a very different view of American politics. Everyone I've talked to was worried that President Joe Biden would drop out of the election—which is ultimately what has happened. Of course, these were the same people who applauded QEII for not resigning, who elected a hooker to the Italian Parliament, and approved of a French president who showed up places with his wife and mistress. Be that as it may, I decided to take a look at Senator J.D. Vance. I was intrigued when I heard that his birth name was James Donald Bowman. I assumed that's where "JD" came from. While Bowman was his birth father, his mother's third husband was Hamel—and while in college, JD used that as his last name. Fine. At some point, he fell out with Mr. Hamel, and came up with Vance—which I mistakenly believed was an homage to Vivian! Turns out "Vance" is his mother's mother's maiden name. In fact, his maternal grandparents were strongly involved in his upbringing. "Finally, the same name as the family to which I belonged," which sounds kinda sweet. Plus, really, what do I care? It's his business. Except he's not quite so accepting when it comes to other people changing their name. In fact, he's been vocally opposed to transgender people changing their name. In fact, he's against most trans rights, women's rights, gay rights, reproductive rights, and any gun control. He's also been known to call Donald Trump "Hitler" in private. So, I guess he's not all bad!
Someone is else is stepping aside! It's Tom Viola, who has been the tireless head of Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS for the past 36 years. In fact, Viola has been with the foundation since its inception, which is no small feat in the philanthropic world. I don't believe there's a single person in the entertainment industry that Tom can't get on the phone or cajole into helping the cause. He's done his work with energy, passion, and dignity. His successor will be the organization's Director of Development, Danny Whitman—who, it should be noted, has been with the group for 15 years. Talk about longevity.
When does saying goodbye not mean goodbye? When you're Pat Sajak. After a year—plus—long farewell lap as host of "Wheel of Fortune", Sajak is coming back in the fall as host of "Celebrity Wheel of Fortune". This is gonna be one of those primetime game shows that ABC plugs in when there's no Monday Night Football. His new contract lasts three years. No word if Vanna will play with him—but she has a new two—year contract to join Ryan Seacrest for the syndicated version of the show.
Longtime readers know nothing makes me happier than the annual Kennedy Center Honors. Oh, sure, it's lost a bit of luster with a revolving door of hosts. Give me the days when Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg would amble out, mosey on over to the podium and welcome people in those dulcet tones more appropriate for a very special episode of "Bonanza". Now, it's anyone's guess who'll walk onstage. So let's talk about the recipients. For years, a popular online game has been to predict who won't make the cut. Happily, Liza Minnelli's streak as the most overlooked person is intact. The Susan Lucci of the Kennedy Center Honors once again didn't get a nod. She's been passed over in favor of Francis Ford Coppola, Bonnie Raitt, jazz trumpeter Arturo Sandoval, The Grateful Dead and The Apollo Theatre. I remind everyone that the Kennedy Center Honors are NOT given out posthumously—so someone better get on the stick!
Apropos of our last item, I've never typed the name Tom Sandoval. This would follow that I've never watched an episode of "Vanderpump Rules"—although I once shared a crab cake with Lisa...but that's another story. My avoidance of such trash (the show and the person) doesn't mean I'm oblivious to the Scandoval situation. And I must sadly acknowledge that that many fans have sent in questions about the participants. To briefly summarize—Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix were a couple. Tom had an affair with Rachel Leviss, Ariana's best friend. For reasons known only by her family doctor and priest, Rachel made a video pleasuring herself, which was on Tom's phone. This video went public through what can only be described as murky means. Rachel is suing Ariana and Tom for distributing "revenge porn". Then Tom decided to sue Ariana—not only pointing a finger at his wronged "ex", but also shirking any responsibility. And you wonder why he's known as the "most hated man in America"—at least by all those who know who the hell he is. On advice of counsel, he's dropped that suit. Rachel's suit is still moving forward with a trial date of November 3, 2025. And you think the courts moved slowly for Trump!
Prior to winging my way to the Continent, I made a quick day trip to Ogunquit and heard lots of excited chatter about the Ogunquit Playhouse's production of "A Little Night Music". Sure, most of it had to do with "Friends" chanteuse, Kathleen Turner. But many were excited that Broadway belter Julia Murney would be playing the role of Desiree. Since Murney is a most compelling stage presence, I'm intrigued to see what she'll do with the part when I get back. It runs through August 17, and what few tickets are left can be snagged at OgunquitPlayhouse.org.
A late addition to the Provincetown summer lineup takes place at the end of the season at the Provincetown Theater. Lisa Lampanelli will be doing a reading of her new solo show, "Lisa Lampanelli: Irrelevant!" on August 31st. This is her second time trying out new material at the famed venue since her 2019 reading of "The Gorge". This show chronicles the comedienne's rise to prominence as a stand—up, leaving it behind to become a life coach, and suddenly feeling..."irrelevant". I can't wait to see it! You can grab tickets at ProvincetownTheater.org.
One of my favorite people has squeezed Provincetown into his already—packed ass—ignments. That would be the ridiculously rambunctious Randy Roberts, who will hit the Crown & Anchor on select Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays in August. Don't miss this chance to spend an evening with a legend at a choice venue...and at bargain prices! Specific dates and tickets can be found on OnlyAtTheCrown.com.
Since everyone here in Europe has Olympic fever, I'm going to shine a spotlight on an athlete who, alas, will not be competing. Trey Cunningham is a strapping 25-year-old hurdler who also happens to be a Ford Model. What's not to love? Shortly after not making the cut for Team USA, he made a revelation. "I'm just Trey, and apparently it's a special thing that I like to kiss guys." Apparently kissing guys was not something he explored back in his hometown in rural Alabama—which he described as "the sort of place where you did not want to be the gay kid at school".
Despite not getting an Emmy nod, the reboot of "Frasier" is returning for season two on Paramount+ with some familiar faces and places. We hear that Frasier will return to Seattle and his old radio station KACL. That episode will feature Dan Butler, Edward Hibbert, and the devilishly divine Harriet Sansom Harris as Frasier's old agent Bebe. No word if either David Hyde Pierce or Jane Leeves will turn up—which one would expect since it's been made clear that Niles and Daphne still live in Seattle. The new season commences on September 19th.
And this leads perfectly into our "Ask Billy" question. Victor in Dallas writes, "I hear Kim Cattrall is going to return to 'And Just Like That...'. Any truth to the rumor? Will it be another phone cameo like last season?"
I've heard the same rumors—but with a twist. Response to her cameo last season was so positive, the powers—that—be are willing to do whatever they can to get her back. I'm told that negotiations are ongoing for an actual storyline. Cattrall, who previously was adamant about not appearing, seems to have warmed to the idea...with a few stipulations. She wants all of her scenes filmed in England. She'd like Samantha to have a storyline of her own. She wants to be paid plenty (she got $1 million for last season's two—minute scene—and she got to keep the clothes). And she would prefer not to appear with any of the other three ladies. What does that mean? Stay tuned...
When actors can make half a mil a minute, it's time for me to consider changing professions and end yet another column. And I thought Stormy Daniels had a good payday! I'm getting a bit hot under the collar—but that could be because it's been around 100 degrees every day during this trip. My God, it feels as if they've already started the cremation process. While I try to cool off, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that's always steamy. If you have a question for me, dash it off to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before J.D. Vance changes his name...again! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.