Billy Masters 10.03.24

"He has funny taste in music. He loves show tunes. He loves 'Cats'—I'm not kidding. On a rotating playlist that he'd walk out to like hype music he'd play 'Memory'!"

—Alyssa Farah Griffin revealing Donald Trump's hidden DJ predilections. 'Cause nothing gets a crowd jumping like "Memory"!


Choosing this week's opening quote was quite a tough call. Who could turn down a one-word quote? When asked what she would take away from her catastrophic appearance on "Dancing with the Stars", Anna Delvey simply said, "Nothing." And you know what? She was telling the truth. In that moment, I almost respected her. It's like when people clap when their competitor wins an Oscar. Nobody really buys it. Just once, I'd like someone (other than Kathy Griffin) to mouth, "Motherf-er!" So Anna, congrats for having a genuine moment on live television. And shame on Alfonso for saying, "Oh, you had fun, stop it!" No, you stop it, Alfonso. She didn't.

The biggest question I've received this week is this: why did President Joe Biden walk onstage at "The View", past Whoopi and Sara, and go directly over to Ana Navarro and then the rest of the panel? Here's what we didn't see. During the commercial break prior to his entrance, the President and First Lady came out and surprised the hosts and the audience. He spoke to Whoopi and Sara before he was whisked backstage to make his official on-air entrance. We noted that when he shook hands with Alyssa Farah Griffin, he leaned over to say something in her ear. We now know he said that he admired her bravery in regard to speaking out against Trump. FYI, he spent most of the subsequent commercial breaks as well as time after the show meeting and taking selfies with members of the audience. I'm told he was particularly sweet to a 95-year-old grandmother who was in the audience. Frankly, I think Biden was just tickled to finally meet someone older than him!

I'm going to get this out of the way—I no longer like Ellen DeGeneres. I'm saying this upfront so that you can stop reading if you disagree with me, or simply just skip this paragraph. But if you're still reading, know that I was a big fan. How big? I have every episode of her two sitcoms on VHS. I have the first seven seasons of her talk show also on VHS. Which begs the question—what am I going to do with all those videotapes? But when she came out as gay, I felt let down. Not because Ellen DeGeneres came out—I loved that. But I also loved Ellen Morgan—the quirky girl with an even quirkier group of friends. It bears mentioning that the sitcom's original title was "These Friends of Mine". But once she realized she was gay, she stopped spending any time with "these friends of hers". I didn't like that. It might have been what happened to DeGeneres, but it wasn't funny. Like her friends, I felt abandoned us—her fans. Then Ellen and I rekindled during her talk show. I enjoyed the funny gal visiting with celebrity pals. But I didn't like being told "be kind to one another" by someone who reportedly wasn't so nice. I heard first-hand horror stories. But let me say this—every time I've met Ellen, she was nice to me. OK, she didn't invite me over to the house to hang out with Portia. But she never slapped me or made me cry. In her latest special, "For Your Approval", I feel misled. The message of the show is that she no longer cares what we think of her. Or does she? Who knows. I still enjoyed it—especially the stuff about her mother, Betty. It reminded me of the Ellen I knew and liked. Before she dumped us.

Adding insult to injury (although I don't believe anyone was truly insulted or injured), there in the audience of Ellen's special...Oprah Winfrey! Believe me, I don't begrudge Oprah turning to Stedman and saying, "Let's go to a comedy show tonight." She should do whatever she wants. But seeing a closeup of her during the special...I dunno. It just felt icky. But she did seem to be enjoying it—or at least they managed to find 10 seconds of her laughing!

"This is the best show ever!" I said that several times during "Mama I'm a Big Girl Now" at The Wallis in Beverly Hills. After saying it the third time, I was sure of two things: 1) I had to open my review with those words and B) If this show becomes a big hit, my quote will be in every ad! You would think seeing Marissa Jaret Winokur, Laura Bell Bundy and Kerry Butler (the original stars of "Hairspray") would be a little stroll down memory lane. But how wrong you'd be. Every number is a major hit from a major show—it's like a collection of 11 o'clock numbers! This is a fun-filled, jam-packed, 90-minute love fest of three divas who have chops, belts, and receipts. They might have taken Broadway by storm 22 years ago, but each of them has more than enough credits to fill a solo show. OK, maybe not Marissa, but she was on "Dancing with the Stars", "Celebrity Big Brother", and fired from "The Talk"—so she's got plenty to talk about. The love between them is genuine and the "let's put on a show" attitude is uproarious. And we learned things. For instance, Britney Spears was LBB's understudy in "Ruthless", Kerry won a whole lotta beauty pageants, and Marissa wants to play Mama Rose so badly, she can taste it (she'd be sensational). Yes, I already knew all of that already, but maybe you didn't. Either way, it's all presented in such a delicious way, I could see it again and again. And I very well might. This one-night-only LA gig was just a warm-up for off-Broadway's New World Stages. They kick off shows on November 2nd for a limited run—"run" being the operative word. RUN—don't walk—and get your tickets at MamaImABigGirlNow.com. Tell 'em Billy sent ya!

Kerry and LBB brought down the house with a high-voltage performance of "For Good" (LBB has played Glinda on Broadway, while Kerry hasn't taken on Elphaba...yet). Their performance reminded me of a story I didn't get to in last week's column. To avoid the head-to-head competition that happened at the Tonys, the powers-that-be behind the film of "Wicked" will be submitting Cynthia Erivo as Best Lead Actress and Ariana Grande as Best Supporting Actress for the Oscars. So when Ariana doesn't win anything, she can't blame Cynthia.

In a couple weeks, I'll be heading down to Miami to support one of my favorite organizations. The National LGBTQ Task Force (or simply The Task Force) does so many things for so many people. Between fighting anti-gay legislation, advocating for protection from discrimination, helping people get out and vote, and making the world a better place, they also throw great parties—including the legendary Winter Party in South Beach. And they're celebrating these accomplishments with their annual Gala. This year's soir e takes place on October 19th at the Miami Beach Convention Center. It not only raises money for their ongoing work, but also acknowledges the people who give tirelessly to the organization. This year, the honorees are my pals Jim Tyrrell and Roger Thomson. Some of my other pals are also sharing their talent by performing at the Gala—Frenchie Davis and Ginger Minj. It will all be hosted by Jai Rodriguez, which is particularly appropriate since the National Leadership Award recipient is Karamo! You can grab your tickets at TheTaskForce.org.

Leave it to a comedian to screw up my column. I had all sorts of things ready to write about Joel Kim Booster—which would have been a perfect transition because he was scheduled to host the Task Force Gala. But, no, he had to had to pull out (I hate when guys do that) due to one of those "unforeseen circumstances". Now I have no reason to tell you that he proposed to his partner John-Michael Sudsina while they were on vacation in Korea. I also can't tell you that proposal or not, their relationship is still "open"—at least according to Booster's Tweet recounting a recent trick asking, "Does your husband know you're here?" (except Joel typed it in those alternating lower- and upper-case letters that people in their 30s think is cute). Joel's retort was, "Yeah bitch I'm on your Instagram right now deciding which photo I'm gonna show him of the annoying guy I just fucked." Lastly, I also have no reason to say that when asked about his full-frontal scene in the flick "Industry", Booster said, "It didn't seem like that big a deal." That's what the trick said! Judge for yourself on BillyMasters.com.

Speaking of dicks, this week's "Ask Billy" question comes from Carmen in Chicago: "What do you know about Seth Rose? I hear he's a big anti-gay guy, and yet he did gay porn. Huh??"



Nothing surprises me anymore. Gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson being on a trans porn website calling himself a black Nazi? YAWN. The person Carmen is asking about is Trump supporter Corey DeAngelis, known as Seth Rose on GayHoopla.com (ok, the name of that website does surprise me). While DeAngelis is known as a Fox News darling who advocates for dismantling public schools, Seth is known as a "hot otter" (or an "otter jock") in a video called "Jerk Off Race"—a race he won, by the by. While DeAngelis/Rose doesn't directly interact with men, he doesn't mind watching or being watched. Feel free to watch him for yourself on BillyMasters.com.

When it's 11 o'clock somewhere, it's definitely time to end yet another column. We ran really REALLY long. So I'll have to wait until next week to tell you about the Menendez brothers! Keep checking out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that has mothers, monsters and Menendezes. If you have a question for me, send it along to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before I join Ellen and Oprah for a girl's night out. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.