“I like Tom Hardy’s balls. I mean not literally. I’ve never seen Tom Hardy’s balls, just for the record.”
— Jeremy Piven waxes rhapsodically about his “Black Hawk Down” co-star. If true, he’s one of the few who hasn’t seen Hardy’s balls. If you wanna one-up Piven, check Tom out on www.BillyMasters.com.
If you follow my musings with any regularity, you know I’m convinced we are a society of lazy bastards. And I have figured out why the United States is losing its status as a world power. People in the service industry now leave you with the words, “Have a good one.” A good what? In any other country, you need to know how to say good day, good evening, good night, even good afternoon (which I learned in Spanish from my daily viewings of Telemundo’s “Caso Cerrado”). Are we so lazy as Americans that we can no longer be bothered to know what time of day it is? If you do one thing for me— aside from checking out BillyMasters.com— please don’t EVER do this.
The big news of the week was Michael Sam of the University of Missouri coming out as a gay man. Not only did he express himself eloquently, but he summed up his feelings with a simple statement: “I want to own my truth— no one else should tell my story but me.” With so many people coming out in recent years, there’s a danger of taking this stance for granted. Having the advantage of experience, I remember a different landscape when I started this column 18 years ago. Most e-mails would come from people asking when Rosie O’Donnell, or Melissa Etheridge, or George Michael, or any number of people would come out. Without exception, each of these people came out once they achieved a level of success that such an admission would not squelch their career potential. And, being far less militant than some of my contemporaries, I always felt that someone should come out on their own timetable. With Michael Sam’s statement, he’s making it clear that this is his time. He added, “I understand how big this is. It’s a big deal. No one has done this before. And it’s kind of a nervous process, but I know what I want to be. I want to be a football player in the NFL.” Here’s hoping that he achieves his goal— on his own terms.
Another coming out story might have gotten overlooked this week. Ellen Page made quite a splash when she starred in “Juno”. But this week, she made yet another splash by coming out as gay. At a conference for LGBT youth in Las Vegas, she said, “I’m here today because I am gay. And because maybe I can make a difference.” She added that she was “tired of hiding and I am tired of lying by omission.” Brava.
Meanwhile, history was being made at NBC. Although not gay, I feel a close affinity for Meredith Vieira, who spent at least part of her formative years a stone’s throw away from the revered place of my birth. With Bob Costas downed with pink eye, Vieira became the first woman to ever host the Olympics alone during primetime. Game shows, morning shows, “60 Minutes”, Olympics, and even “The View”— is there anything Meredith can’t do? We’ll find out later this year when her new talk show attempts to succeed where Katie Couric failed.
We hear that Penny Marshall and Lorraine Bracco will play a lesbian couple on another new FOX series. “Mulaney” is based on the life of former “Saturday Night Live” writer, John Mulaney. Although NBC originally ordered the sitcom, they passed on it and FOX grabbed it. The cast includes Martin Short playing his boss (a game show host), another “SNL” veteran Nasim Pedrad as his roommate, and Elliot Gould as his neighbor. Gould’s character just happens to be good friends with Marshall and Bracco, who turn up in the second episode as Tutti and Vaughn. How often they appear likely depends on if “Rizzoli & Isles” gets renewed.
Although I’m known for having my fingers in many pots, you can’t say I don’t keep at least one finger on the pulse of the entertainment industry. Just last week, I told you how I spent some time in NYC with the always-delightful John Wesley Shipp. And, poof, there he is— all over the news. Fans had been wondering if there could be a way to incorporate Shipp into the proposed CW reboot of “The Flash”. And just like that, the network announced that he would not only appear in the pilot, but his character had the potential to recur. From your lips...
Another of my friends is making a comeback of sorts. I have enormous fondness for Brent Corrigan. Not only is he not bad to look at, he’s also extremely talented and a go-getter. Since leaving the gay porn industry, he’s starred in (and written, directed, and produced) a number of mainstream projects. He even continues to compete as an equestrian. But, as they say, you never forget your first love. So it’s not completely surprising that he’s at least dipping his toe back into gay porn. “My 4-year hiatus from porn is now come to an end, I’m planning to return to my root.” Grammar aside, this is good news indeed. I’m told that Sean/Brent made an appearance at the HustlaBall in Vegas last month and will be on the cover of “Cybersocket” next month. Congrats, baby.
With a column chock full of people coming out and male nudity, we bring them together with this week’s “Ask Billy” question. Dylan in Tulsa writes: “I don’t know anything about British pop singers. But since you’ve mentioned them before, who are these hot boys in the band Blue who have come out? Were they a couple?”
Ah, Blue. While I was really more of a Take That and Westlife bloke, Blue certainly had the hotness category covered. Of the two gents you are inquiring about, Lee Ryan is the one who has recently made news since he’s on the UK version of “Celebrity Big Brother” and confessed that he is bisexual: “Yeah, I’ve been with a man. Everyone’s done experimentational shit. I’ll tell you later. Of course. I’m a well-traveled person. I’ve never admitted it anywhere. No one’s bothered to ask.” I never asked because I simply assumed Lee was gay. However, I must say that Duncan James didn’t ping my gaydar. I first started to wonder about him when he took the lead in my ex Jerry Mitchell’s “Legally Blonde” in the UK. That’s when he came out as bisexual. However, I have yet to substantiate the recent claim which ran in “The Irish Mirror”: “Lee has an incredibly intense relationship with Duncan. He feels he is the only person in the world who truly understands him. They love each other and it’s true they’ve been intimate over the years. They’re completely comfortable with each other and still go on holidays together.” I’m not sure how that all fits in with previous claims that the two would “high five” over the heads of girls during threesomes. Duncan tried to set the record straight by Tweeting: “Every1 knows about the 3somes but it’s never gone beyond that. I mean I love Lee but not THAT much!” Perhaps Duncan would feel differently if he got a gander at Lee’s fully erect penis. Because, oh yes, that’s what we’re bringing you on BillyMasters.com.
When nothing says “I love you” quite like a three-way high five, we’ve definitely come to end yet another column. May I just add, what a birthday I had! I fielded over 600 well-wishes on Facebook, and another couple hundred via e-mail. I also ran a Billy Masters’ Birthday Sale on our little website, www.BillyMasters.com. Although it’s ending now, e-mail me and perhaps we can squeeze you in (a photo wouldn’t hurt). You can send those requests to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Brent tells me if what he does with those horses is closer to “Equus” or Catherine the Great. Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.
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