“I know the hurt little boy who lives inside the model body. Let me tell you, he is 5 years old. Mommy’s missing —she’s at Studio 54. His soup is cold, and all he wants is love... And that little boy never grew up. He’s got short pants, he’s got suspenders, he’s having high tea. Somebody just love him. Love him for who he is. He’s just a model. He’s an underwear model who became a newsman....by mistake!” —Kathy Griffin reveals the real Anderson Cooper during New Year’s Eve coverage on CNN. She also handcuffed herself to the silver fox —not his first time in restraints, I’m sure.
When it comes to ringing in the New Year, I am as traditional as they come. Friends gather to pay homage at the site of Billy Masters’ birth (it’s been cleaned up since Big Mama’s record 28-minute labor) for Chinese food and Lindsay Wagner movies. This year’s two flicks showed incredible range —Lindsay fought cancer and wore an almost realistic bald cap while singing “Scarborough Fair” and then, in the second film, saved Thanksgiving virtually single-handedly for the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts (even though it was clearly shot in Los Angeles). She never disappoints.
Every year, I look forward to the Kennedy Center Honors. There is something about seeing Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg lumber onstage as if she just got off a horse. I’m sure she’s a lovely person, but clearly this isn’t a gal who is used to being in a dress, or heels, or make-up, or having her hair done. She might as well be Ellen DeGeneres! Since Caroline is our new Ambassador to Japan, she was unable to host. In her place, Glenn Close. I’m not saying it’s Glenn’s fault, but this year’s show received the lowest ratings EVER —down 36 percent from last year. How can this be fixed? Easy! Next year, let it be hosted by Caroline’s hot son, Jack Bouvier Kennedy Auchincloss Radzwill Onassis Schlossberg.
The New Year brought news from a few of our favorite fellas. One of the UK newspapers wrote quite a lengthy account of Zachary Quinto’s love life. As you may know, he’s currently dating artist/model Miles McMillan (you can check out every inch of Miles —and there’s quite a few of ‘em —at BillyMasters.com). Before that, he was linked with Jonathan Groff. But didya know that his other paramours included Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Colton Haynes? That’s what the Brits are saying, and who am I to disagree with them?
In what one only hopes is a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor, Enrique Iglesias revealed that he is not particularly well-endowed. “I go skinny-dipping if there are no paparazzi around...There’s not a lot to show off.” Certainly we would all be sympathetic to a bit of shrinkage —particularly when the water is cold.
Speaking of hot Latinos, Ricky Martin revealed that he is suddenly single. Ironically, his split from Carlos Gonzalez Abella comes shortly after telling reporters that he hoped to get married in Spain. Might I suggest he call upon ABC’s newest “Bachelor”? After all, it is Juan-uary!
The Internet is all a-buzz about ABC newsmen David Muir and Gio Benitez. You all know who Muir is —formerly a reporter in Syracuse and Boston, who’s perhaps been enhanced by some facial reconstructive surgery, and extremely cagey about his personal life (to say nothing of a wide stance which leans to the left). Benitez is from Miami, where he made a name for himself as a reporter. He was also somewhat active in the gay community. Neither of these men are openly gay, but have been linked together after a series of coincidental appearances on ABC World News. Eagle-eyed viewers claim that Gio usually files his reports to Diane Sawyer from the field. But when Muir fills in as anchor, Benitez miraculously appears in the studio. Coincidence? Gio recently said that Muir is one of his top three “Golden Followers” on Twitter. And unlike Muir, Benitez has no problem being seen in gay bars. In fact, a very hot model named Pablo Hernandez posted a photo with Gio at WeHo hot spot Eleven. Photos of the pair to follow on BillyMasters.com.
Many celebs dabble in politics. Add Clay Aiken to that list. In a report, someone close to Aiken states that he has consulted with a political strategist about a possible run for Congress. He’s allegedly even made some phone calls to well-placed persons in the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee and in Raleigh, NC.
You’d think a US Senator could have a hot shaved body, wear a turquoise belt, package-fitting plaid pants, and a pink shirt and not cause a kerfuffle. But, no, apparently not. Despite numerous photo spreads spotlighting his fantastic physique, his penchant for body-conscious fashion, and his fascination with footwear, Aaron Schock has gone to great pains to assert his heterosexuality. Alas, he’s once again the target of gay scuttlebutt. CBS News’ Itay Hod posted quite a diatribe on Facebook. “Here’s a hypothetical: what if you know a certain GOP congressman, let’s just say from Illinois, is gay...and you know this because one of your friends, a journalist for a reputable network, told you in no uncertain terms that he caught that GOP congressman and his male roommate in the shower together. Now they could have been good friends just trying to conserve water. But there’s more.” Since I want to conserve space, you can read the “more” on BillyMasters.com.
Another Aaron is making some news —Aaron Rodgers. You don’t know who he is? Me neither. Apparently he is a quarterback for the Green Bay Packers. Some people claim that he’s been outed by someone being termed as a “scorned boyfriend” —something I know nothing about (all of my exes are either friends or have had lobotomies). This story stemmed from a number of Tweets from Kevin Lanflisi, who was Rodgers’ “roommate” and had been on the payroll as a “personal assistant”. The two had been inseparable for quite some time and often turned up at public events “always color coordinated and without any double female dates”. In addition to numerous photos of the pair, there are even pics of Lanflisi wearing Rodgers’ Super Bowl MVP ring (which I gather is some sort of big deal). Last week, Aaron moved out, leading Kevin to a number of Tweets —such as, “All that time spent on ‘us’ is now spent on ‘me’. Which means I have more time to exercise, read, write, dream and save”, and “I wish you would learn to love people and use things...Not the other way around.” Adding insult to injury, it’s been noted that Rodgers has never once Tweeted about any women. He has limited his Twitter topics to the Green Bay Packers, Kevin Lanflisi, and sitting in the front row at a Justin Bieber concert. Days later, Rodgers said, “Yeah, I’m just gonna say I’m not gay. I really, really like women.” And Justin Bieber, don’t forget that.
Could it be that Britney Spears has reunited with a certain member of ‘NSync? Yes, but it wasn’t Justin Timberlake. It was Lance Bass, who went to catch his old friend’s Vegas act days after opening night at Planet Hollywood. But, you didn’t think it would be quite as tame as just showing up to say hi. No sirree. Brit brought Bass onstage during “Freakshow”, festooned him in a bit of leather regalia, put a leash on him, dropped him to all fours, spanked him with a riding crop, and walked him like a dog. In other words, a typical Saturday night for Lance. You can get a piece of him (and watch the video) on BillyMasters.com.
When Aaron Rodgers is admitting to loving women and being a Belieber, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Hearing about Britney and Lance brought back some fond memories. Like Spears, I once got porn pup Bobby Clark in a choke collar and walked him like a dog —ah, what happy memories. You can relive all of those on www.BillyMasters.com —the site that never forgets. If you’d like me to investigate anything for you, just drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Britney gives Lance the leather ensemble as a wedding gift. Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.
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