Billy Masters 06.02.22
"It was in the middle of a live show! We go backstage during the commercial and find a little corner and I'm literally taking off my pants, off my underwear, and putting on his."
—Ryan Seacrest reveals that he had to change into his stylist's spare underwear during the finale of "American Idol" because his penis was too "prominent". And if you believe that one...
Ricky Gervais' special, "SuperNature", was just released on Netflix and includes several jokes about the trans community. There are also pointed barbs about fat people, thin people, rich people, poor people, straight people, gay people, and every other imaginable group of people. Gervais says of the trans community, "They just want to be treated equally. I agree—that's why I include them." Some of his jokes certainly made me cringe. But I wondered—was I cringing about what Gervais said, or what it triggered in me? Humor should hold up a mirror to society. When a comedian makes you think about your own failings, they have done their job. Of course, not every comic is for every person. I suspect many people who are criticizing Gervais' special have not even seen it.
I felt the same way about people criticizing Dave Chappelle. So I was not surprised when many fans expressed outrage when John Mulaney surprised them with Chappelle as his opening act in Columbus, Ohio (where Dave lives). I don't know Mulaney, but he's had a helluva year. He left his wife and went public about his addictions, and connected with Olivia Munn—someone I've met numerous times yet can never quite place. But any comedian who has the chance (and the balls) to follow Chappelle onstage is fearless. I totally understand that some members of the audience felt ambushed having to sit through Chappelle. Trust me, I felt the same way when Wild Orchid opened for Cher! But just do what I did—put on your earplugs, go to the concession stand, and get drunk.
Last week, I told you all about the shows I saw on Broadway. While I was watching Patti LuPone in "Company", I thought what an interesting Martha she would be in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?". Instead, I saw Calista Flockhart attempt the role at the Geffen Playhouse in Los Angeles. From her first entrance, I was distracted by her striking resemblance to the late Lee Remick. No longer is Calista the clothes hanger we remember. She is now a multi-layered, multi-dimensional, fuller figured (or padded) woman. That she isn't an ideal Martha is unsurprising. But she is eminently competent—high praise given my expectations. I would even venture to say that her first two acts were good...in their own way. She's more bossy than blousy; more coquettish than cantankerous; more mischievous than malevolent. All valid choices. That it fell apart in the last act was not unexpected, but jarring nonetheless. She simply could not sustain her intention. Her partner, Zachary Quinto, was so low-key (even for him) that the first two acts dragged. His last act had some juice. He was coming up, Calista was coming down, and they never intersected long enough to save the show. One is almost grateful that these actors are somewhat young for their roles (although not chronologically) and they each have a good 10-20 years left to try them again.
Which leads to news of seismic proportions. Last week, some footage fell in my hands that gives readers the rare chance to see limited portions of these performances from the comfort of their own home. Not only are scenes from "Who's Afraid of Ally McBeal?" available for your viewing pleasure, but also some exclusive footage of Pamela Anderson in "Chicago". Check them out on BillyMasters.com.
This week, "Billy Masters LIVE" returns with a guest who has done it all—stage, screen, and recordings. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Melba Moore! I first became aware of Moore when she hosted a summer replacement variety show with Clifton Davis. Around that time, I often heard "This Is It" and "Lean on Me" on the radio. So, imagine my excitement when I learned Melba has a new album out called "Imagine". Then I heard she was willing to be on "Billy Masters LIVE". Be sure to tune in on Thursday at 3PM Eastern / Noon Pacific—or anytime thereafter—on our YouTube channel, Billy Masters TV, or on BillyMasters.com/TV.
It's been a while since we've talked about Kevin Spacey, and I suspect he'd love it if we didn't have anything to talk about. After all, he's trying to salvage the remains of his tattered career with not one but TWO films. Since there's a yin to every yang, Spacey also has four new sexual assault charges. Let's start with the two new films. The first is a thriller that was shopped around Cannes. "Peter Five Eight" is already completed and finds Spacey starring alongside Rebecca De Mornay—and, may we ask in all sincerity, what rock did she climb out from under? Spacey also plans to film "1242—Gateway to the West" in Hungary and Mongolia in October.
As to the four new sexual assault charges, they come from three men in the UK—which means one of them had a bonus round. The announcement came from the UK's Crown Prosecution Service Special Crime Division—which is too cumbersome a title to name a TV show after. There are four offences "of sexual assault, contrary to section 3(1) of the Sexual Offences Act 2003". The other charge is an offence "of causing a person to engage in penetrative sexual activity without consent, contrary to Sections 4(1) and (4) of the Sexual Offences Act 2003"—which I think is somewhat self-explanatory. To add insult to injury, Spacey's brother Randy Fowler made a statement: "It's not surprising to me that eventually they would've gathered enough evidence to pursue the four charges against him—I think the reckoning is going to happen."
Our thoughts go out to Leslie Jordan, who is mourning the passing of his mother. How fortunate that he spent most of the pandemic in Chattanooga with his family—a lovely silver lining. On the positive side, FOX just renewed "Call Me Kat", which stars Leslie alongside Mayim Bialik and Cheyenne Jackson. It's really grown on me, so I'm thrilled it will be back for a third season.
While I'm making confessions, and I can't believe I'm going to say this—Renée Zellweger was fantastic in "The Thing About Pam". What a great performance and a complete physical transformation. While Zellweger has never struck me as the most compelling of performers, she earned my respect and admiration with this role. Brava.
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Tony in Florida: "Is that 'Hocus Pocus' sequel ever happening?"
Honey, it's in the can! I spoke to some people who worked on a production number, and they told me the sisters were in rare form. Disney recently announced that the film will premiere exclusively on Disney+ on September 30th. While that takes it out of contention for an Oscar, it should still be around on Halloween...one hopes!
Lastly, Laverne Cox is a real doll! Mattel just announced that a Barbie doll version of the actress will be included in the Tribute Collection. While it's a nice story to kick off Pride Month, I don't think the doll looks anything like Cox. But it does look familiar. I just couldn't figure out who. And then it hit me—Hoda Kotb!
When anyone is celebrating Gay Pride Month with a Hoda Kotb doll, it's definitely time to end yet another column. I'm really excited about these videos—I know my fans love Pam; whether they love Calista remains to be seen. And you can see all on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that tempts you with no strings attached (although restraints can be fun). If you have a question for me, dash it off to [email protected], and I promise to get back to you before we see Pam Anderson's "Virginia Woolf"! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.