Billy Masters 05.19.22
"Why is that so gross? We kiss each other where we pee."
—Sarah Silverman responds to "The View" co-hosts' disgust that she shares a toothbrush with her boyfriend. Even more priceless is Sara Haines' reaction, which you can see on BillyMasters.com. P.S. I still wanna go out on a date with Sara's gay brother...should he be reading.
Last week, many of the television networks revealed which shows would be renewed or canceled, and which new ones they've ordered. The bloodbath at The CW was not unexpected—the trades gleefully reported that "Dynasty" had ratings of roughly 0.0. Since The CW is for sale, they had to stop the bleeding somewhere—and, frankly, I don't know anyone else who was watching. Likewise, the "Charmed" reboot is history. Over at CBS, "B Positive" got the ax, which is unfortunate for the talented oldsters.
I was surprised that ABC passed on its most promising pilot. The "LA Law" reboot centered on Blair Underwood and Corbin Bernsen, with cameos from a few other alums, and a cast of what one insider described as "the most unmemorable group of actors ever assembled." While it could be retooled, it's unlikely. Like the aborted "NYPD Blue" reboot a few years back, this one is probably history.
Everyone thinks reboots are new. But when I was a kid, there was a strange phenomenon—canceled live-action shows would come back as cartoons! We had "Gilligan's Island", "The Brady Kids", "The Partridge Family" and even "Laverne & Shirley". Many of them featured the original stars doing the voices, with a notable exception being Tina Louise, which led to Dawn Wells voicing both Mary Ann and Ginger! I bring up this little bit of nostalgia because another series is doing the same thing. "Married...with Children" left the airwaves in 1997 (and was FOX's first real bona fide hit). But it's coming back as an animated series...with the four original leads! They aren't alone—Norman Lear is planning an animated version of "Good Times".
I'm pleased to report that HBO Max has renewed "Julia". The series about Julia Child grew on me to the point that I kinda missed it when it was over. Sarah Lancashire truly made the famed "French Chef" a living, breathing, and fascinating woman. I met Julia once at a cocktail party in Cambridge. Even in her sensible, masculine shoes, she probably would have towered over me had she not been hunched over. She was kinda like "Lurch—The Golden Years"! But her mind was sharp as a tack. I never met her husband Paul, but David Hyde Pierce plays him with enormous empathy. And, having Pierce reunited with Bebe Neuwirth has been a bonus treat. I look forward to next season.
Months ago, I told you about the live stage musical based on the 1995 Academy Award-winning short film, "Trevor" by sexy James Lecesne (who now goes by the name Celeste). For those of you who missed the off-Broadway run, have no fear—a filmed version will turn up on Disney+ on June 24th. A perfect Pride Month event.
And now, a programming note. There will be no new episode of "Billy Masters LIVE" this week. Yes, I can hear your collective moans of disappointment—I'm somewhat psychic when it comes to letting people down. What can I say? I have a life. This week, I'll be in NYC for the first time since the pandemic began. I cannot wait to be back on Broadway—as a spectator (this time). Next week, I'll tell you all about the shows I saw and the trouble I caused. In the meantime, you can watch all of our fabulous episodes on our YouTube channel—YouTube.com/BillyMastersTV. Because if you haven't seen it, it's new to you.
The Tony nominations came out. People claim there were lots of surprises, but I don't see any based on the reports I got. One must congratulate the revival of "Take Me Out", which snagged three "Actor in a Featured Role" nominations for Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Michael Oberholtzer and Jesse Williams (more on him later).
We also congratulate the fabulous Patti LuPone for earning her eighth Tony nomination for "Company". Of course, La LuPone made news this week for a different reason. After a performance of "Company", there was a talkback event—where the cast takes questions from the audience. Patti spied a lady in the second row who was wearing a mask (per the Broadway mandate), but had it below her nose (against the mandate). At first, Patti nicely asked the woman to please adjust her mask. The woman refused, at which point people in the theater started filming. That's when LuPone laid into her. "Put your mask over your nose...That is the rule. If you don't want to follow the rule, get the fuck out...Who do you think you are?" The woman responded, "I pay your salary!"—which is somewhat accurate. The audience buys tickets, the money goes to the producer, and the producer pays the bills. Nonetheless, Patti wasn't having it. "Bullshit! [Producer] Chris Harper pays my salary!" Life goes on...
Meanwhile at "The Music Man", Hugh Jackman, Sutton Foster and Jayne Houdyshell are enjoying their Tony noms. And the show has won another plaudit—they brought in $2,071,806 for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS during the traditional six-week spring red bucket fundraiser (when cast members accept donations from the exiting audience). This is the largest amount raised by a single show EVER! Jackman was responsible for the bulk of those funds by promising to do a variety of things to deep-pocketed patrons.
By the by, Jackman's wife, Deborra once again addressed rumors that their marriage is a sham and that Hugh is really gay. "I mean, hello guys...if he was gay, he could be gay! And he'd be dating Brad Pitt or whatever. Not that Brad's gay, but you know what I'm saying." I'm actually not sure, but I think she just told us Hugh's type!
I'm curious if Jackman will make an appearance at "Broadway Bares". The long-running fundraiser takes place during Pride Month and brings cast members from all of the Broadway shows together for a fantastic burlesque show to raise oodles of dollars for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. The brainchild of my dear Jerry Mitchell, it began in 1992 and has raised a total of over $21 million to date. During the pandemic, the show continued as a virtual event and the past two years brought in about $1 million—and we are proud to say "Billy Masters LIVE" was one of their partners. "We've been waiting to celebrate our 30th anniversary in person for two years, and we're going all out. Whether it's been three years or 10 years since you last saw 'Bares', our 30th edition will be a show for the ages," says Jerry. This year's show is subtitled "XXX" and will take place on Sunday, June 26th at the Hammerstein Ballroom at 9:30PM and midnight (which is always the more risqué show). You can get tix at BroadwayCares.org.
I know what you're waiting for. So, without further ado, our "Ask Billy" question comes from Aaron in Dallas: "Do you have the video of Jesse Williams' nude scene in 'Take Me Out'? It's been taken down from the Twitter links, but I'm sure you have it."
Aaron was one of dozens of fans who wrote in within moments of the footage being leaked. Why, it's almost reminiscent of the kerfuffle I caused with Steven Weber's nude "Hair" footage—except Weber was fully hard, while Williams is simply a semi. It seems to me the filmer was sitting in the first row, aimed his camera or phone upward, and hoped for the best. And, boy, he got it.�
I recently attended a friend's birthday party at Disney World in Orlando, Florida. En route, I read this headline: "Disney Heir Comes Out As Trans". It came up when Roy P. Disney announced that the family would match up to $500K in donations toward the Human Rights Campaign. "Equality matters deeply to us. Especially because our child, Charlee, is transgender and a proud member of the LGBTQ+ community." Charlee is a trans man. Charlee is the child of Roy P. Disney, who was the child of Roy E. Disney, whose father was Roy O. Disney, who co-founded the company with the better-known Disney, Walt. That makes Charlee and Walt...well, consult Ancestry.com for the exact relationship.
There's more bad news for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. As you know, he eliminated Disney's "Special District". And, as I already told you, that requires paying off a $1B bond. Of course, he can't raise state income tax—because there ain't any. The only thing he can do is raise property taxes. Anticipating this, DeSantis has been slapped with a lawsuit from residents of counties in the WDW area who refuse to pick up the slack. Stay tuned.
Meanwhile in Hollywood, Dave Chappelle was performing at the "Netfix Is A Joke" comedy festival. He had a fabulous evening planned at the Hollywood Bowl when, out of nowhere, a man ran onstage with what looked like a gun. In actuality, it was a fake gun with a blade inside (which I say is still not a good thing). The person in question, 23-year-old Isaiah Lee, was swiftly downed by Chappelle and then escorted from the venue by police. Chris Rock happened to be backstage, heard about the incident, saw someone being arrested, and asked, "Was that Will Smith?" The LA County Prosecutor filed four misdemeanor counts but no felony charges, while Chappelle opted not to file any charges. As to Isaiah, he's pled not guilty! About 17K witnesses might disagree.
Last week, Kim Cattrall was honored at "Variety" magazine's Power of Women dinner and turned up with some surprising friends on the red carpet—"Sex and the City" writer Candace Bushnell, costume designer Patricia Fields, and the series creator, Darren Star. What did they have in common? All three key people responsible for the success of "SATC" had nothing to do with "And Just Like That...". In an interview with Ramin Setoodeh, Kim made some startling revelations. "The series is basically the third movie. That's how creative it was." One of the reasons she turned it down was because Samantha's subplot was that she received dick pics from Miranda's 14-year-old son, Brady! Cattrall has stayed busy with two series ("How I Met Your Father", "Queer As Folk") and a film (Sebastian Maniscalco's "About My Father").
Way back in 2017, the play "Afterglow" made quite a stir off-Broadway. It became a sensation and kept getting extended, breaking all kinds of records. The West Coast premiere at the Hudson Mainstage Theatre in Los Angeles will surely do just as well. This is a provocative play, with exceptional dialogue, and a cast that could hardly be better. It also sports a fantastic (and expensive-looking) set. For those of you interested in male nudity—well, there is definitely something for everyone. And you don't have to wait long to see all. By getting the nudity out of the way from the top (so to speak), writer and director S. Asher Gelman allows us to focus on his provocative story of a gay couple on the brink of parenthood who happen to be in an open relationship—what could possibly go wrong? You get more details and tickets at AfterglowThePlay.com.
On a recent episode of "Billy Masters LIVE", we basically had a double episode. First up was Levi Kreis, currently headlining the national tour of "Hadestown". The following day, I saw the show and it lived up to the hype. The production is extraordinary, the cast is fantastic, and the audience was electric! Sitting in that darkened theatre, watching the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice, Hades and Persephone, I couldn't help but think that people have seen these myths enacted on stage since ancient Greek times. I suddenly felt young and vibrant—not an easy task! Check out "Hadestown" in LA at the Ahmanson Theatre through May 29th or anywhere on its national tour.
My other "BML" guest was the legendary illusionist Jimmy James. We spoke about his long career portraying Marilyn Monroe, and the documentary he's working on. "The Boy Who Was Marilyn" needs to raise a modest amount via GoFundMe. Jimmy shared hilarious stories about the luminaries he's worked with, including Elton John, Whoopi Goldberg, Phil Donahue, and even Liberace! You can see all the episodes on our YouTube channel.
One of the topics James and I discussed was Kim Kardashian wearing the legendary Marilyn Monroe "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" gown to the Met Gala. Jimmy ultimately felt that Kardashian evoking Monroe was a good thing—it keeps her iconic status current for a new generation. Personally, I couldn't help but wonder where were all those people who constantly complain about cultural appropriation. Who is more of an American cultural icon than Marilyn Monroe? Someone asked me why Kim didn't complete the look with the same hairdo. Turns out, Kim's intention was a top-to-bottom replica. Alas, after all the bleaching, let's just say there was more hair on the carpet than on the drapes! Since she felt it would be inauthentic to wear a wig, she ended up Marilyn from the neck down and Brigitte Nielsen from the neck up.
History is being made at another Met—the Metropolitan Opera. Lucia Lucas has become the first openly trans singer to play a leading role with the company—although it should be noted that the role of Angelotti in "Tosca" is more of a cameo. Lucia identifies as a trans woman, but plays male roles to match her baritone voice. While she was initially concerned about the issue, it turned out to be easier than she thought. "It was so much of a relief to come out that I decided acting on stage is easy when you don't have to act in real life."
While I typically hate reruns, U.S. Rep. Madison Cawthorn is the gift that keeps on giving—and, really, who knew that his gifts were even operable? That's the topic of another "Ask Billy" question, which comes from Mark in Boston: "I hear there is a video of Rep. Madison Cawthorn naked in bed thrusting his pelvis in some guy's face, but I can't find it anywhere. Can you?"
Of course! And it's a curious bit of celluloid. Madison quite energetically thrusts himself on another guy, while the person filming (or perhaps a spectator) yells, "Stick it in his face." Throw in an ocean breeze and some poppers, and it could be Provincetown! Madison says, "Years ago, in this video, I was being crass with a friend, trying to be funny. We were acting foolish, and joking. That's it." If that's it, I'm sure he won't mind you taking a gander on BillyMasters.com.
When Jesse is fluffed and big enough to be folded, it's definitely time to end yet another column. When I was considering which Broadway shows to see, the producers of "Take Me Out" actually turned me down. One famous fella quipped, "Of course they don't want you there—they knew you'd somehow get footage." Someone beat me to it...the mantle has been passed. That means I can concentrate on www.BillyMasters.com—the site where anything goes (which can be seen on PBS this week). If you have a question, send it off to [email protected], and I promise to get back to you before Chris Harper pays MY salary (except I can't be bought—just ask Jeff Probst). Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.