Billy Masters 02.22.24
"I prefer women."
—Billy Dee Williams' response after being hit on by Marlon Brando. He adds, "I've been getting hit on all my life. Gay, straight, whatever, somebody's always hitting on me." I can relate.
When you mention it's your birthday in a nationally syndicated/internationally read column, you have to expect a bit of attention. I spent my birthday week at the lovely Filth2Go Beach House in Fort Lauderdale. During a walk on the beach, a stranger started waving in my direction. Well, I've made this mistake before—you wave back, only to discover they were waving at someone behind you. So I continued walking, but the guy kept waving and coming toward me. He asked if I was Billy Masters. Well, who would admit to such a thing if it weren't true? "Happy birthday," he said. Apparently, he's a longtime fan—which is always enormously flattering. When he mentioned what Boston suburb he lives in, I said I was from a neighboring city. "I know—you bought your first bicycle in my city!" I've dated people who knew less about me. Still, a fan's a fan!
Hot on the heels of the actors' and writers' strikes, we have more entertainment union news. The latest group looking to unionize is Disneyland characters. Yes, when you sidle up next to Goofy, you may be canoodling with a card-carrying union member. And if the characters have their way, they will join Actors' Equity—the group that governs performers on Broadway. They have already informally organized as Magic United—which sounds like a group that should be looking out for Melinda: First Lady of Magic. This is actually not an unprecedented move. Disney World characters who perform in shows in that theme park are already members of Actors' Equity. At this rate, those knockoff Spidermen on Hollywood Boulevard will wanna join!
Last year, Jinkx Monsoon made history by being the first drag queen to play Matron "Mama" Morton in the Broadway company of "Chicago". In a bit of history repeating, Monsoon will return to the role for a limited run—June 27th through July 12th. Not a bad way to celebrate Gay Pride in New York City.
A wise person once said you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and then you have the facts of life. Come to think of it, it wasn't a wise person. It was Gloria Loring. Whatever. We've already told you the good, now we have to report the bad. The show "My Son's a Queer (But What Can You Do?)" has been a hit in London, and was slated for a Broadway run. This solo show was scheduled to open February 27th. And yet, at this very late date, the producers announced plans to delay the opening until next year. Something to do with money, I suppose.
Another show has announced intentions of reigning over the Great White Way next year—"The Queen of Versailles". It is based on the documentary of the same name about the life of beauty queen and TV personality Jacqueline "Jackie" Siegel. The Boston tryout starts on July 16th for a limited five-week run. This new musical will star Kristin Chenoweth and has been written by "Wicked" composer Stephen Schwartz, who I'm told wanted Chenoweth. Tickets go on sale to the general public on February 28th at 10AM at EmersonColonialTheatre.com.
I want to applaud the Ogunquit Playhouse for their commitment to presenting new works. True, many of these shows have had no life beyond the rocky Maine shore, but I'm still glad I saw them. This season, they'll be producing the world premiere of a musical version of "My Best Friend's Wedding". Now, doesn't that sound like a hit? As long as they don't screw up the book. Not only is it a perfect vehicle for a stage show, but the songs come from the Burt Bacharach-Hal David catalogue—including "I Say a Little Prayer", "Walk on By", and "I'll Never Fall in Love Again". It runs September 26—October 27. More details can be found at OgunquitPlayhouse.org.
Did I tell you about the gay porn star who was involved in the January 6th tourist jaunt? Steven Miles is a member of the Proud Boys—which I thought was the name of a gay porn flick! Previously, he "performed" under the name Sergeant Miles for Michael Lucas. He was identified after posing for a photo with a woman, to whom he bragged about entering the Capitol building by breaking a window. The woman became an FBI informant, and remembered some details about Miles and his "companion". After pleading guilty to all charges, he was sentenced to two years in prison for "assaulting, resisting, or impeding a law enforcement officer." Miles, who is married to a woman, said he was "humbled and humiliated" by his actions. I expect he's in for two more years of humbling and humiliation.
Olympian Tom Daly has a new partner. Noah Williams is taking over as Tom's synchro diving partner since Matty Lee is out with a back injury. The newsome twosome are getting along famously and have all but qualified for the 2024 Paris Olympics after taking the silver at the World Championships in Qatar. To seal the deal, Tom knitted Noah one of his famous "cock socks". When asked how he knew what size to make, Daly said, "I go by the one-size-fits-most rule." When Noah said, "Are you surprised I've actually worn it a few times?" Tom responded, "No, I'm not. I think you actually posted a photo on your OnlyFans". Oh, yes, Noah's got an OnlyFans account. One reporter had the nerve to ask Tom if Noah is his type—a curious question since Tom is married to occasional auteur Dustin Lance Black. I think we know what his type is, although variety is the spice of life. Tom answered, "I like broad shoulders. I like a swimmer's physique. Because that was what drew me to Lance in the first place, the fact that he was so wide at the top and then narrow." So, is that a maybe?
Noah ain't the only Olympian with an OnlyFans page. In fact, he isn't even the only Olympic diver on OnlyFans. In fact, he isn't even the only Olympic diver connected to Tom Daley on OnlyFans. In fact...oh, you get the idea. Daley's former partner Matty Lee has a page. So do fellow British divers Daniel Goodfellow and Matthew Dixon. Aussie diver Matthew Mitcham also has one—and he has the distinction of also being gay. Speaking of gay, I think we've previously told you about New Zealand rower Robbie Manson. I don't believe any of them have shown what's inside their Speedos—at least not up front.
This beautifully leads into an "Ask Billy" question I've been sitting on for a few weeks—so to speak. Dan in Miami asks, "Do you know this internet model who goes by the name Peachyboy? He's gorgeous—but I don't know anything about him. Has he done porn? Is he gay? And what's his name?"
Do I know Peachyboy? Have you met me—he's exactly my type. Sure, he'll be bald in a few years, but the haircut definitely helps. Not only is his body perfection, his face is dreamy and he has a British accent. He's exactly like me—except for the body, the face, and the accent! OK, so he doesn't kiss. The good hookers never do. And, sure, he might not have the biggest dick in the world. But I betcha his perfect ass could definitely take it. Tricky camera work stops us from seeing actual insertion. But we do have video of him taking things bigger than most human penises with ease—and he seems to enjoy it. Does that make him gay? Nope—but it sure makes him open.
So, who is he? His name is Sam. He's a fitness model and "influencer", although what he is influencing is unclear. He first popped up on British TV way back in 2016 on a show called "The Lie Detective", where he was confronted by an ex-girlfriend Sophie who was angry he didn't come to visit her in the hospital after a horse accident—and, no, I'm not making that up (we have the video). At the time, he was an AC repairman. While his fitness photos and videos got loads of attention, he's honed his focus on gay men and makes what people would call "bait content". He plays the game, comes off almost completely asexual, and mostly courts the attentions of other very fit men. There have been videos with some gay porn stars which mostly show them working on his ass with their fingers, tongues, and toys. When criticized for being gay-for-pay during a video Q&A, he quipped, "If you think I am 100% straight, you are SO wrong!" He certainly seems charming and sincere—but I'm a sucker for an accent (even if that really isn't my thing). I know what my fans want to know. Yes, like many of the people in this week's column, he's on OnlyFans. He can also be found on BillyMasters.com.
When I'm suddenly in the mood for cobbler, we've definitely come to the end of yet another column. And I ain't talking about an old man working on my boots—although I do have a pair that needs a bit of resoling. While I'm looking into that, you should look into www.BillyMasters.com, the site that's got plenty of soul. If you have a question, dash it off to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before any of these OF boys pays me a commission—and I do accept nature's credit card. So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.