Billy Masters 10.17.24
"According to Barbra, I would have no career if it weren't for her. She turned down 'Barbarella', she turned down 'Klute', 'They Shoot Horses, Don't They?' and 'Julia'. Can you see her...oh, never mind."
—Jane Fonda shakes her head—probably at the thought of Babs in any of those "Barbarella" outfits. I mean, the boots alone could kill her!
How was your week? Probably better than Anderson Cooper's—to say nothing of all the people in West Florida. There he was, in Bradenton, Florida, getting pummeled...and not in the good way! Call me crazy, but I always thought Coop would enjoy getting hit in the face with something slippery and wet. "Woah! That wasn't good," said Andy. Eh, chacun à son gout. Meanwhile on CBS, your favorite and mine, Rob Marciano, resurfaced just a few miles away from Cooper in Tampa. After being canned by ABC, he was gobbled up by the Eye Network.
We interrupt this column for a special announcement—Bette Midler wants to make a sequel to one of her classic flicks. Given the time of year, you'd think I meant "Hocus Pocus 3". And, yes, she does want to do that. But that's not what we're talking about. Sure, talk of a second "First Wives Club" surfaces every once in a while. "The Fabulous Four" probably put an end to that. Instead, Midler would like to see where CC Bloom ended up when she got older. Yes, she wants to make "Beaches 2"! Of course, she doesn't have a script, a director, or a story. In fact, I don't believe she even has the rights! But she told an interviewer, "It would be great if I could revisit that character at this age. I think it would be marvelous. And the songs would be great." From your lips...
I'm writing to you from a plane, sitting between two (ostensibly) heterosexual men. Having nothing to do, my first thought was to watch some gay porn. Instead, I did something even gayer. I turned on the last two episodes of "Dancing with the Stars"! I think my reasons for not watching this show and "The Bachelor" are well documented. However, if that former "Bachelor", Joey Graziadei, isn't a ringer, then I don't know who is. This is someone who moves like a professional dancer...and I know this because for several seasons I was "dating" half of the "Boston Ballet". I also question whether this "Bachelor" has interest in anyone female...but that's another story (we learned he's a former cheerleader). Obviously I have a fondness for hometown boy Danny Amendola, and I can't fault him for showing off that body! As for some behind-the-scenes gossip, I hear that one of the pros was told to lose weight or their contract would not be renewed. Speaking of scuttlebutt (and what a butt it is), rumor has it that another pro on the show is itching to come out. Problem is, it could ruffle a few feathers. Lastly, on their tribute to "Soul Train", is it just me or did Dwight Howard bear a striking resemblance to Sheryl Underwood from "The Talk"?
By the by, didya know that prior to going on DWTS, Joey got something called armpit Botox! An alleged expert says, "Botox in the underarms treats hyperhidrosis and helps reduce pit stains. It makes sure Joey stays sweat free on DWTS". The more you know...
The hoofer with a heart of gold is returning to the Big Apple. Last week, Hugh Jackman made an announcement that shook the rafters. Starting in January and continuing April through August, he will perform two concerts each month at Radio City Music Hall. "From New York with Love" is being billed as a retrospective look at his career—including material from "The Boy from Oz", "The Greatest Showman", "The Music Man", "Oklahoma!", "Sunset Boulevard", "Carousel", and more. One person close to the jacked man told me, "Hugh loves theatre. He'd move to NYC and just do Broadway—if it weren't for the movie money." At least he hasn't lost sight of his priorities.
The Broadway League has (once again) reversed a catastrophically bad decision: "In recognition of the passing of several beloved Broadway community members in recent weeks, and in honor of their significant impact on that community, the Committee of Theatre Owners has announced that they will dim the lights of all Broadway theatres in New York in honor of Adrian Bailey, Gavin Creel, and Maggie Smith." They add, "In addition, the Committee is reviewing their current dimming policy and procedures." Many people have asked me, "What is the big deal? Flick a switch, dim some lights, move on." And that would be great, if it were that simple. I'm told many unions are involved and the dimming of lights (typically accompanied by some graphic which some techie in high school could probably facilitate in seconds)—ends up costing thousands of dollars. Can't someone make an app for that?
This ruling was made in the nick of time. I'm not saying Liza is near death, but you know...tick tock. We previously told you that Miss Minnelli is working on her memoirs. The book will be called "Kids, Wait 'Till You Hear This" and is scheduled to be released in the spring of 2026. As you know, she's being assisted on this project by her bestie, Michael Feinstein. "We've been joined at the hip for 40 years," says Liza—a curious statement from someone who has had no fewer than three hip replacements! I bet having someone joined to your hip makes the replacement a whole lot more complicated. Liza calls Feinstein "my absolute favorite collaborator. Michael's one of the greats, he's razor-sharp and he tells the truth. That's important because, as I fly toward my eighth decade of living, memories differ." I bet they do. Speaking of differing memories, let's start with Liza thinking she can fly!
With precious few projects on the horizon for women of a certain age, Barbra Streisand is continuing to stroll down memory lane. Hot on the heels of her best-selling memoir, she's now opening up even more. She's planning to participate in a large-scale documentary which will take advantage of her vast archive of material. While she is allegedly not controlling the narrative (as if), the producers have said the following: "The production has been granted unprecedented access to Streisand's personal archives, including hundreds of hours of personal, never-before-seen video, photographs, audio recordings, and personal keepsakes from throughout her acclaimed career." That couldn't have been hard—they just had to go to one of those shops in her basement.
Every once in a while, someone asks me about Calvin Klein's former beau, Nick Gruber (no relation). I seem to recall him being arrested after some out-of-control house party. And I think there were a few brushes with the law that led to assault and drug charges. But that was eons ago. And then, poof, as if a gift from the gods, I looked up and saw him on TV. No, he didn't have a juicy role to sink his teeth into. He was on the news—and the news wasn't good. It was a story about an older gay couple who lived in Santa Rosa, California. During the pandemic, they took in a roommate—or a "roommate"—they didn't clarify. After doing a clearly not thorough background check, they rented Nick a room of his own. A month later, the house was raided! Why? Police said it was a routine probation check. Neighbors saw people coming and going, talked to the landlords, and a dispute ensued. Police showed up and found a locked safe which had a gun, nine pounds of methamphetamines, and $10K in cash.
Gruber doesn't say he was "dealing drugs". He says he was a "broker" in "the drug industry". OK, so he's a dealer with a thesaurus! He was still convicted and went to jail for two years. Legally, the landlords were advised to send an eviction notice to Gruber in prison which also stated that if someone didn't claim his belongings, they would be disposed of. The landlords say they donated the stuff to the Mormon Church. Oh, the humanity! Gruber claims his belongings included thousands of dollars of designer clothes, furnishings and jewelry. He sued the couple for the value of his missing property—which he totaled at $182K! Problem was, he didn't have receipts (well...you know...). One item on his list caught my eye. He says he had an H&M V-neck shirt costing $225. Honey, I shop at H&M—NOTHING costs that much! The judge awarded him $8,683.92, which Nick felt was a win! You can see his interview and the entire news report on BillyMasters.com.
Our "Ask Billy" question is actually more of an answer. Patrick in San Francisco writes, "If you've never watched 'Naked and Afraid', you've missed out on the hottest little twunk to come around in a long time—Dan Link."
I have indeed watched "Naked and Afraid" and written about it in this very column. Patrick goes on to tell me that Dan is the first openly gay man to win "Naked and Afraid—Last One Standing", which took place in South Africa. Apparently Dan is a scientist, but did some nude modeling in his earlier years. Since Patrick shared with me, I'll share with you—on BillyMasters.com.
When I'm looking up the word "twunk", it's definitely time to end another column. I bet Nick could look it up in his thesaurus. Once again, we ran long—which sounds like some of the photos you'll find on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that's never afraid of nudity! If you have a question or want to share a find of your own, send it along to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before Liza gets her fourth hip (and you know what that means...the fifth one is free). Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.