Billy Masters 12.12.24
"If Canada can't survive the tariffs, then maybe Canada should become the 51st state and Trudeau can become its governor."
— President-elect Donald Trump's response to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau's complaint that tariffs would "kill the Canadian economy". Geez, now we're gonna have to replace all the flags—to say nothing of learning French!
This week, we enter the Filth2Go Wayback Machine with the assistance of Mr. Peabody to go back to a simpler, happier, gayer time—1978. That was the year The Village People released their hit, "Y.M.C.A.", which boasted about a place where young men could have a good time, get yourself clean, have a good meal, and do whatever you feel. Lead singer, Victor Willis (the cop), claims there was nothing gay about the song. In fact, he threatened to sue "each and every news organization" that refers to the song as a "gay anthem". Then David Hodo (the construction worker) weighed in: "Just to be clear, there would be no 'Y.M.C.A.' song without Jacques Morali"—the legendary gay producer. "Randy Jones (the cowboy) took him to a Y.M.C.A. and introduced him to several gay porn stars who worked out there." Willis struck back. "Well, well, well, what have we here? David Hodo comes out of his hole to comment on me and my writing partner Jacques Morali. First of all David, Jacques hated you and you know it. So I wouldn't put much stock in whatever you have to say about me and Jacques. Therefore, back in your hole before I crush you again, you replacement (non-original) Village People member who has lied for years that you're an original." That sounds awfully prissy coming from someone who is straight. Yes, Willis has a wife, and we hear is a Republican. Not surprising, he also defended Trump's use of the song on the campaign trail: "Trump seems to genuinely like 'Y.M.C.A.' and we have grossed several million dollars since the President Elect's continued use of the song." This sounds more about money than about sex—not that the two can't go together!
Let's jump forward in time—to 1996, the year JonBenét Ramsey captivated the country. I must confess, she didn't captivate me. But I do have a friend who is convinced the brother did it because of a bowl of ice cream. It's now almost 30 years later, and the case is being re-examining on Netflix's "Cold Case". John Ramsey (the father) says that with DNA technology, "there's a really good chance we get it solved". The family also issued a rendering of what JonBen would look like today, and she eerily resembles a "waitress" I had at a Hooters in Dubuque, Iowa!
It takes a lot to get me up before noon. But I left Boston at the crack of dawn to catch a flight to LA in order to see Marilyn Maye at Hollywood's Catalina Jazz Club. At 96, one would expect Maye to be in diminished form. But she seems to have defied the laws of nature, time, and gravity. She never sat during her 90-minute show (to say nothing of an equally long meet-and-greet post-show). She even included new numbers that I've never heard her sing before! There was a generous helping of love that went out to the capacity crowd and was gleefully returned. By the end, she sounded like she could go on singing till the cows came home (to coin a phrase). It was not only a splendid evening of entertainment, but one that made you feel like you witnessed something truly special.
If some mad scientist wanted to create the perfect Broadway leading man in a lab (this would obviously be a gay mad scientist), he'd create Hugh Panaro. The talented thespian took the stage at Catalina Jazz two nights after Maye and performed his one-man show, "Man Without a Mask" (referring to his over 2000 performances of "Phantom"). Aside from his extraordinary vocal abilities and matinee idol good looks, we were treated to a great mix of material from his extensive career—cleverly assembled with his director, Richard Jay-Alexander. Pianist Joseph Thalken added to the embarrassment of riches, although nobody seemed particularly embarrassed! Until you get the chance to see them live, some clips of Hugh and Marilyn in action can be found on BillyMasters.com.
One of Panaro's last songs was a gorgeous rendition of "It Only Takes a Moment" from "Hello, Dolly". I couldn't help but think of the late Gavin Creel, who sang it in the 2017 revival of "Dolly" (which earned him a Tony Award). Last week, the lights of Broadway marquees were dimmed in his honor the day after a weepy audience attended his memorial service at the St. James Theatre. It ended with the cast of the 2009 revival of "Hair" joining a pre-recorded Gavin for an emotional "Let the Sunshine In". Although the memorial was streamed online, union rules dictated that it be taken down after the live viewing. So if you missed it...well, need I tell you where to look?
Every once in a while, someone asks me what T.R. Knight is doing. I'm glad to finally have an answer. He'll be on Broadway in "Stranger Things: The First Shadow". It's kind of a prequel to the Netflix series—which means if you're a newbie, you still can follow along. Phew! Previews kick off on March 28th at the Marquis Theatre.
I have no idea who Betty Gilpin is. She may be a mighty fine actress. But the idea of a woman—any woman—taking the lead in Broadway's "Oh, Mary!" when Cole Escola leaves the role on January 21st sounds like a death knell for the sensation. I am reminded of Ally Sheedy playing "Hedwig" during the initial off-Broadway run of the "Angry Inch". Nothing against Miss Sheedy, but that was a mistake (I suspect had Sandra Bernhard done it—as she was rumored to—it might have worked). So catch "Mary" sooner rather than later!
In other queer casting news, we hear that the latest Emcee in the West End production of "Cabaret" will be...Billy Porter! He joins the cast on January 28th and stays until May 24th.
Elsewhere in the West End, the Elton John musical "The Devil Wears Prada" opened last week. I think the opening night can be summed up in one photo—Vanessa Willams (who plays Miranda Priestly), a virtually unrecognizable Donatella Versace, Elton John (wearing sunglasses for obvious reasons) and Anna Wintour (the basis for Priestly—also in sunglasses). Would that the level of camp in that group photo be reflected in the show? After a rocky run in Chicago in 2022, Elton John revamped the show for London, and Williams was hired. The result? Critics feel it has something to offer. Alas, terms like "style not substance" and "forgettable songs" also pop up in most reviews, which is never a good sign. Would I see it? Absolutely. Would I plan a trans-Atlantic trip for it? Probably not.
Emily Blunt (from the flick) addressed rumors of a sequel. "There's rumblings, there's stuff churning around, but I don't know if I can confirm anything completely...but we would be all delighted to work together again."
Someone who showed up on the "Prada" red carpet was the luscious Luke Evans, alongside his equally hunk beau, Fran Tomas. He recently talked about his insecurities—reminding us that people who seem to have it all also have demons of their own. "I still sometimes go to the gym and just feel very anxious. I look at myself in the mirror and just go, 'You don't look good enough' or 'You're letting it go'." All that tells me is there's no hope for any of us!
And now, time for more of "Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions". One of the first things I buy every year is the annual celebrity ornament from Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. This year's diva is Betty Buckley, in her classic Grizabella guise. It could also be considered an homage to the homeless situation in Los Angeles—I love a socially conscious gift that also celebrates a Broadway belter! You can order it at BroadwayCares.org.
Because we're all about balance, my calendar suggestion this week comes from the hot British diver Jack Laugher. You thought I was gonna mention another name, but it can't all be about Tom Daley and his needlework! And, sure, Laugher ain't gay—but since when did that stop us from appreciating the male physique? This is Jack's third calendar (who knew?) and the photos are really quite spectacular. Check out all his wares at JackLaugher.com.
When Laugher is the best medicine, it's time for me to catch a cold and end yet another column. As always, you can get the freshest dish on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that doesn't cry over melted ice cream. We didn't have time for an "Ask Billy" question, but can always get my attention by dropping me a note. Dash it off to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before Trump books The Village People to lead "Y.M.C.A." at the inauguration. Ah, if only Mike Pence were still around...he'd hang himself! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.