Billy Masters 01.23.25
"You're a lot more interesting than I thought."
- Cher to Josh Brolin after he discussed his memoir on "The Graham Norton Show" in December. After Cher promoted her memoir, Josh said, "You remind me of my mom!" Before you ask, he meant his biological mom, not his stepmom who he refers to in the book as "a singer". You know her as Barbra Streisand.
People like to bash the so-called Hollywood elite, but those privileged few know how to band together when the going gets tough. Numerous fundraisers have been organized to help those decimated by the LA fires. Josh Brolin is one of the stars spearheading "LA Wildfire Relief LIVE"—a telethon with a glittering lineup. No word yet if he's convinced his stepmom to step up (or, for that matter, his new pal Cher). Then there's "FireAid", a benefit concert taking place in not one but two LA venues. Others are involved with the "SoCal Fire Fund" on Charitybuzz. There's also a virtual benefit called "LA Check In"—which sounds like something you do at a Best Western!
Also victims of the fires were "influencers" Max Emerson & Andres Camilo. Hours after their home succumbed to the flames (a home they renovated and heavily documented online), they announced they were separating. Which begs the question—"Who?" Actually, that's somewhat unfair—I have at least heard of Max Emerson. And one must applaud the posting of their separation announcement. It was nestled between footage of their house burning down and a montage of near-nude photos of them in happier times. Putting it into context, Max's previous post was a video talking about becoming a sperm donor—for $15K a pop. At that rate, he'll be in a new house before you can say "Roll over!" Some people got it and make it pay—some people can't even give it away!
Pope Franny is all for welcoming gay men into the priesthood on one condition—if they are willing to have "an orientation towards celibate life." Now, I'm no authority on Catholicism, but aren't all priests—gay or straight—supposed to be celibate? I looked it up and found this information: "The Catholic Church considers the law of clerical celibacy to be not a doctrine, but a discipline." And I've known my share of priests who like to be disciplined! Anyway, the Pope has his own views: "The objective of the training for priesthood in the emotional-sexual sphere is the ability to welcome chastity in celibacy as a gift, to freely choose and to responsibly live it." It's a gift? As I tell most people when it comes to gifts, I'd rather have the cash!
I am never surprised at the stupidity of people. But this chick in France takes the cake...or the gâteau! She willingly handed over $850K to someone she met online who said he was Brad Pitt. Let's first start with this point—who out there believes a random message they get online is from the real Brad Pitt? Hands? OK, let's say you believe it is really Brad Pitt—God only knows why. Is there any universe in which you think he's asking strangers for hundreds of thousands of dollars? And riddle me this—if Max Emerson is getting $15K a pop to jerk off, how much could Brad Pitt make in a couple of hours? Anyway, Frenchie says "Brad" told her he had cancer—but, shhh, it's a secret he'd only tell random strangers online. He needed money for treatment, and that bitch Angelina froze his accounts. Is there any part of that story you would believe? Max Emerson—sure. Brad Pitt—I don't think so.
This column is being written prior to the Coronation...er, the Inauguration. I don't have lots of thoughts—other than I think it's amusing that El Presidente believes Hollywood is in another country. Why else would he need Special Ambassadors to Hollywood? Next, I really don't care about Carrie Underwood, but I think anyone who can make a lot of money and get international exposure is lucky. Good for her. Yes, I know how many gay people feel. One such fan posted this to Carrie: "Don't ever call yourself an LGBTQ ally again, you're supporting the man that wants to abolish LGBTQ rights, you should be ashamed." I'm ashamed that this person doesn't know the difference between a comma and a period. I have no problem with Nancy Pelosi sitting this out. But I'd pay good money to watch her try to do "Y.M.C.A." without breaking a hip!
You know what does shame me? Seeing Joe Manganiello hosting "Deal or No Deal Island". First off...REALLY? I don't have oodles of respect for him as an "actor", but even I think he's better than this. Apparently one of the trades thinks so—in writing about the show, they called him a "veteran actor"! Well, any chance one gets to see Joe shirtless is fine by me. But I've seen lots of reality shows, and I've rarely seen the hosts topless.
It's the end of an era. When acclaimed gay party promoter Jeffrey Sanker died in 2021, one thought his empire would crumble. But it continued...although in a somewhat diminished capacity. Last week, it was announced that the legendary White Party in Palm Springs (which typically takes place around Easter weekend) was cancelled. They are not saying it's gone for good, but it sure sounds like it. "While it's bittersweet to take a pause, this gives us an opportunity to reflect and explore new ways to innovate and evolve".
Someone else taking a pause is Bobby Berk. The former "Queer Eye" host sold his home in the Hollywood Hills. First he's drummed out of the show, then he's drummed out of Hollywood. We hear he will not relocate in the area.
Some people take a pause against their will. Take Wendy Williams. She's been (allegedly) locked in a facility against her will with limited contact with family and friends. Her crime? None that I can think of. People say they are doing it for her own good—but I don't know how selling someone's home, giving away their pets, confining them to a facility, and keeping them away from their father's 94th birthday is good. Wendy found a way to get her message out directly—via Charlamagne Tha God and "The Breakfast Club" (you can hear the full interview on BillyMasters.com). She called into the show last week sounding surprisingly lucid—aside from repeating "you know what I'm saying" about two thousand times. I am Team Wendy on this. Even if she is mentally compromised, why shouldn't she be able to choose where and how she wants to live? It's a world gone mad.
Two Broadway babies are lobbying for Bravo to get into the theatre game. Megan Hilty recently pitched Andy Cohen an idea—"The Real Housewives of Broadway". Andy said the idea had previously been discussed with Kristin Chenoweth and said he'd love to do it. The Broadway/Housewives combination is not as outrageous as you'd think. Quite a few Housewives have appeared on Broadway—including NeNe Leakes, Kandi Burruss and Erika Jayne. Admittedly, they all appeared in the musical "Chicago", but it's a start.
We hear that Golden Globe winner Ariana DeBose has a plum project on the horizon. She's in discussions to lead a new production of "Evita" at the London Palladium. You'll recall that this is where the acclaimed revival of "Sunset Boulevard" with Nicole Scherzinger started. In fact, this "Evita" will be directed by Jamie Lloyd—who directed "Sunset". Previews begin June 12th.
Tom in Arizona provides this week's "Ask Billy" question: "I saw Tom Holland on the cover of 'Men's Health'. He looks amazing. Has he ever posed nude??"
Well, there's nude and then there's nude. While promoting one of those "Spider-man" movies, he told Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, "Essentially I'm naked in those movies because the suit is so skintight." And in "Men's Health", he certainly looks like a superhero. However, it should be noted that he's a little bit of a thing—not to be confused with having a little bit of a thing. He's 5'8" (barely) and weighs about 145 pounds—but can "bulk up" to a hefty 155. That's not a whole lotta body to whip into shape. One of my favorite former porn pups is the buff and beautiful Tory Mason—who I think of as an adorable Muppet of the gay porn galaxy. He likes to remind me that he's perfectly proportioned (talk about someone who's made big bucks taking and receiving sperm). Anyway, if you'd like to check out Mr. Zendaya's bod, head on over to BillyMasters.com.
When "influencer" is another term for "sperm donor", it's definitely time to end yet another column. In the "Men's Health" article, I was struck by something Timothée Chalamet said: "Tom is the ultimate rizz master." In my haste, I thought Timmy was making some bold confession referring to Holland as a "jizz master", which would have fit into this week's column quite nicely. Alas, "rizz" is a word the kids use for "charisma". For more bits that are lost in translation, check out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that brings you the rizz and the jizz! If you want to share either with me, reach out and touch me at [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before Babs shows up at that telethon! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.