Billy Masters 10.16.25
"So many closeted men in the Republican party. The people who want government out of their lives are obsessed with controlling other people's love, bedrooms while lying about their own. We see you, we see them, and guess what? If you're a hypocrite, I'm gonna out you."
- Don Lemon names names, including such alleged self-loathing gays as Mike Johnson, Benny Johnson, Lindsey Graham, and Tim Scott. As I always say, never piss off a gay man with a mike.
In case anybody missed it, Taylor Swift revealed that Travis Kelce has "hot gay friends". Of course, she didn't just say it—if she had, it would have been our opening quote. Here's what happened. Taylor was on Hits Radio in the UK. She was talking about her song "Wi$h Li$t" (how Ke$ha of her) which has a lyric, "Please, God, bring me a best friend who I think is hot." She flashed her engagement ring to indicate she had such a friend. Then co-hosts James Barr asked, "Does he have any hot gay friends?" Taylor said "Yeah...I also have a lot of those."
Someone else with a whole lotta gay friends is the much-beleaguered Kristin Chenoweth. Let's skip past the whole ugly-cry-over-Kirk thing—been there, done that, posted the video. Anyway, Kristin has a whole lot going on. First up is that Broadway musical "The Queen of Versailles", written for her by Stephen Schwartz...and his hair (speaking of Kirk). Should the musical not work out (nothing is a sure thing on Broadway), Chen has a contingency plan. She is in the midst of developing yet another sitcom—this time for NBC. "Stumble" finds Krissy leading a church choir as part of her community service. The writer is Alissa Neubauer, who helmed "Call Me Kat"—another show that never found an audience. A white version of "Sister Act"? How on point.
Of course, our gay patron saint is Dolly Parton, who has had some health issues since the passing of her husband, Carl Dean. Not only has she cancelled her Las Vegas residency this December, she also bowed out of the Academy Governors Awards, where she was to have received the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. Then her sister Freida (no, not the "Band of Gold" Freda) made a curious statement: "Last night, I was up all night praying for my sister, Dolly. Many of you know she hasn't been feeling her best lately. I truly believe in the power of prayer, and I have been led to ask all of the world that loves her to be prayer warriors and pray with me." That set off a firestorm of speculation. So, Freida issued another statement as damage control. "I didn't mean to scare anyone or make it sound so serious. She's been a little under the weather and I simply asked for prayers because I believe so strongly in the power of prayer." Perhaps, but I don't think she'd ask people worldwide to pray if Dolly just had the sniffles, or a hangnail! "It was nothing more than a little sister asking for prayers for her big sister."
Since that didn't help, Dolly appeared—as if an apparition at Lourdes, except this was Instagram! She wanted to address the health rumors with an "impromptu video message" (and if you buy that, stop reading immediately). Looking quite sprightly, she admitted to having "some problems" and that she had "let a lot of things go that I should have taken care of". She says she's having "a few treatments" at Vanderbilt Medical Center outside of Nashville. She welcomed the prayers, but added, "I'm not ready to die yet—I don't think God is through with me, and I'm not done working." If anyone has earned the right to take a breather, it's Dolly. Get well soon. But if you really want to rest, take a tip from Billy (as so many others have)—sleep on your back!
When is a farewell not a farewell? First, I was dealing with the fact that Cyndi Lauper did her farewell at the Hollywood Bowl with Cher, and I missed it. Then I was heartened that CBS/Paramount captured the event. So color me confused when I read that she's gonna play Vegas! Here's the headline verbatim: "Cyndi Lauper Announces Las Vegas Residency, Following TV Special and Wrap-Up of Farewell Tour." Seems to me like she's following in Cher's footsteps! Cyndi did a very Belinda Carlisle thing (we'll get to her in a minute) and clarified that the farewell was to touring—not to doing a few concerts here and there. You say potato, I say ka-ching!
In the past, Belinda Carlisle has announced the end of The Go-Go's career no fewer than five times. Now she comes out and says, "It's gotten ridiculous—we announce a farewell and then something comes up so we're back. I'm never saying never again." While this is not a Go-Go's story, it's been announced that the mega-hot British boy band Take That will be doing a stadium tour. And who is their opening act? Belinda Carlisle, that's who!
You know what I'm against? Performers who do more than two shows at the same venue and calling it a residency. A residency is when you move to a city, get an apartment, and live there by day and work by night. Kinda like what Sam Smith had planned once the refurbished Castro Theatre opens in February 2026. He announced two weeks of four shows each for his "To Be Free" stint in SF. I'd call that residency-adjacent. Those sold out pretty quickly, so he added another four. Poof—sold out. As of this writing, he's up to 16 shows over four weeks. That is definitely a residency. He's doing a similar schedule at Warsaw in Brooklyn over October, November and December. To get the most up-to-date schedule, check out SamSmithWorld.com.
Since we're talking New York, you know that Halloween is right around the corner. And this will mark the 10th time the delightful Jay Armstrong Johnson has presented his wildly popular "I Put A Spell On You" benefit to raise money for the Ali Forney Center. Seeing Jay as Winifred Sanderson—well, you can't put a price on that. This year's show will take place on October 20th at Webster Hall in NYC. You can get tickets and information at SpellOnYouNYC.com or JayArmstrongJohnson.org.
Last year marked the 25th year Charles Busch and his merry band performed his play, "Times Square Angel". Since this is typically when tickets go on sale (and sell out in minutes), he made the following announcement. "Last year marked the twenty-fifth anniversary of performing the play as a one night staged reading. To Carl Andress and I, that seemed like an achievement to be proud of and time to call it a wrap. At the risk of sounding like Anton Walbrook at the end of the movie, 'The Red Shoes', we won't be performing 'Times Square Angel' anymore. Nothing goes on forever and time and the vagaries of age and the prosaic details and exhaustion of doing theater on a shoestring have gone into this decision. What a joyous ride it's been...To those who have joined us all these years, thank you so much for your loyalty and enthusiasm. What a joy it's been to share this play and experience with you. And to our cast and band, designers and crew, my love, gratitude and admiration. A special thank you to Theater for the New City and the indominable Crystal Fields who for six decades has given so many theater artists a home. Thank you all for twenty-five years of 'Times Square Angel'. I exclaim this from my heart, truly, and sincerely, bless you, darlings!" In the words of Belinda Carlisle, never say never...
By the by, the print edition of Busch's play "The Tale of the Allergist's Wife and Other Plays" turned up at the recent Julien's Auction of Joan Rivers' belongings. The volume was autographed by Charles to Auntie Joan in 2007, and he wrote the following: "To Joan—Your early enthusiasm over these plays meant more than I can say. Thank you." It was bundled with a few other entertainment books and sold for $320. I'm sure Missy thanks you.
Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Jonathan in Las Vegas: "I heard that the Robert Irwin is going to join The Chippendales for their Las Vegas show at the Hard Rock. Any truth to the rumor?"
It is true that The Chippendales reached out to Robert. And they aren't the only ones. The Thunder Down Under boys also would like him to join them—and being from Australia, they could have the edge. Alas, Robert has turned down both offers. "Not for me. Not right now. I'll take the shirt off every now and again, I'm going to draw the line there...for now." So if you want to see Robert shirtless, you'll have to check out BillyMasters.com.
When two residencies are vying for an Irwin, it's definitely time to end yet another column. And at least they didn't reach out to Bindi! For other heavenly bodies, head on over to www.BillyMasters.com—the site that will leave you breathless. If you have a question you'd like me to grab ahold of, send it along to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before I announce my residency (which ain't happening anytime soon). Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.