Billy Masters 05.29.25

"As I got older, I lost my virginity to both a boy and a girl within six months. And I liked both of those experiences."

- Kevin McHale shares tales of his sexual awakening. By the by, he is currently in London appearing in Sondheim's "The Frogs" at the Southwark Playhouse through June 28th. Who he'll sleep with there remains to be seen.

In terms of theatre, the Brits have it all over us—and I'm not just saying that because they serve ice cream. It's because their theatre tickets are affordable. You want to bring the kids to see "Wicked"? You won't have to take out a second mortgage on your house. You want the best seat? Maybe you'll pay the equivalent of $150 for the center orchestra. My sister and her kids went to see Hugh Jackman at Radio City Music Hall. They paid $350 each to sit in the back of the mezzanine! Life is much more civilized in Merry Old England.

Most of the shows I saw were adaptations of other works. I've never seen the film "House of Games". The David Mamet movie has been adapted for the stage by Richard Bean and was playing at the Hampstead Theatre. From what I gather, the second half of the play varies from the screen version. But I can't imagine the film is better than the taut, 90-minute thriller I saw—and that goes for the writing, the acting, and even the set. While I completely followed it, I suspect I was in the minority. I heard many patrons trying to unravel the various twists and turns after the performance. Of course, I was at a matinee!

Then there was "Stranger Things: The First Shadow". While I could appreciate the stagecraft and performances, I left the play complete baffled—probably because I've never seen the series. I knew I was in trouble when the person sitting next to me showed up in full "Star Trek" regalia! While there is no connection between the two series, they do inspire the same rabid loyalty. The play was entertaining, and I bet if I had a clue what was happening, I would have loved it.

People regularly adapt Ibsen, and that goes for "The Master Builder". And now London is dissecting "My Master Builder" by Lila Raicek. It's not exactly an adaptation, but more inspired by. And it's ideal for Ewan McGregor, who is using it as a vehicle for his return to the West End after 17 years. He's been brought back by frequent collaborator, director Michael Grandage. This version takes place in the Hamptons and uses most of Ibsen's themes—with updates to include #MeToo, office politics, and other modern-day issues. McGregor has an ease about him which makes him generally charming, but he lacks some of the brazen swagger that is typically part of the lead's makeup. Whether it was his approach or the writing, the balance ultimately shifts to his wife—played brilliantly by Kate Fleetwood. She all but steals the play right out from under him; she's virtually impossible to take your eyes off whenever she's onstage. The smart sets and fluid direction add to a great night of theatre.

I wonder who thought a great idea for a musical would be "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Again, this is not exactly an adaptation of the F. Scott Fitzgerald short story or the film starring Brad Pitt. Instead, this is a retelling set in a fishing village near Cornwall. Benjamin is not the son of a rich button manufacturer; he's the son of a poor man with the last name Button. The music reflects the time and the locale. This is one of those shows where the actors play numerous characters as well as the musical instruments (kudos to Little Jack, who's also quite a looker and a hoofer). I am typically able to suspend my disbelief whenever I go to the theatre. But with this story, I have enormous trouble getting past the conceit of a full-grown elderly man coming out of a petite woman's vagina—in a three-piece suit, bowler hat, and carrying a walking stick. No wonder she didn't survive! But if you get past that, this is really a magical show with a very talented cast in an inventive production.

The biggest challenge in adapting a beloved property for the stage is structure—what stays in and what gets cut. In this regard, the musical version of "The Devil Wears Prada" is successful. And with such a quotable film, dialogue shouldn't be an issue. Alas, that's where the problems begin. Obviously changes must be made, but sometimes an extraneous "yet" can throw off an entire scene. Still, it must be said that this musical is completely "fine". What it isn't is completely "fun". Elton John's music is serviceable, even if many songs sound derivative of "I'm Still Standing". The literal imagery of the "devil" may work in a Bananarama video, but it's too heavy-handed here. I felt many of the clothes looked cheap—something closer to "Solid Gold" than "Runway". Also, when someone goes in a dressing room to try on an outfit, they shouldn't come out with new hair and makeup.

In terms of cast, Georgie Buckland is winning as Andrea, if not perhaps a bit more snappy than expected (and almost painfully thin). The Emily of Amy Di Bartolomeo is simply divine. Her Act 2 opener is THE showstopper of the night (the hot nurse helped). Matt Henry is extremely successful as Nigel, primarily because the character has been re-imagined as a sassy black man (shades of AndrLeon Talley). The Miranda of Vanessa Williams looks smashing, but has little more to do other than strut. Her delivery is more varied and less dry than Meryl's—which is not a bad thing. But when Miranda is more human and Andrea is somewhat more jaded from the get-go, it throws off the balance. Neither lady gets quite the transformation she deserves. And let me give the producers a tip for free. You have a giant staircase—for God's sake, use it. If you make Andrea complicit in Emily's accident, we no longer root for her. At the end of act one, have Emily get distracted at the top of the staircase and fall on her own—maybe in slow motion. Then you have perfectly set up the opening of Act Two and taken the onus off of Andy. You're welcome.

You know all that chatter about a sequel to the film "The Devil Wears Prada"? Well, it's gone beyond chatter—Disney has announced intentions for the sequel to come out during next year's 20th anniversary—and given it a release date of May 1, 2026. Since films typically wrap months before their release, one would assume there is a script and a cast with less than a year to spare. So is there a script? We're told there is. Has the cast signed on? Not to the best of my knowledge, although all four leads have expressed interest. All I can say is. . . stay tuned.

David Geffen and his husband David Armstrong are getting a divorce. I am shocked. Shocked that a marriage between a billionaire and a former Randy Blue boy didn't last. Since they only lasted two years, may I be the first ask for my blender back. The strapping 32-year-old Armstrong (who appeared on film as "Donovan Michaels") met Geffen when he was hired as the mogul's personal trainer. I'm not sure exactly what he trained him to do, but he must be awfully persuasive. We're told two shocking things: 82-year-old Geffen is the one who filed for divorce, and the couple didn't have a prenup! That fact alone should immediately trigger competency hearings!

This week's "Ask Billy" question comes from Paul in Los Angeles: "I just heard that my favorite porn star, Colton Ford, died. Do you know any details? ? "


Gay porn icon Colton Ford and I got close when we appeared together in a production of "Making Porn" in Philadelphia (alongside his then-partner, Blake Harper). As beautiful as he was on the outside, he was even more so as a person. He segued out of porn to his first love—music. Under the Colton moniker and his given name (Glenn Soukesian), he released several studio albums and toured extensively. As to details of his death, we're told it was a hiking accident—yet another reason why I eschew most physical activity. He was 62 years old. We'll run some photos of him on BillyMasters. com.

When Geffen's marriage is over and Diller's is still going strong, it's time to end yet another column. I didn't have time to mention another porn mishap. OnlyFans star Annie Knight ended up in the hospital after attempting to break the record of having sex with 583 men in six hours. I think I saw this scene in "I, Claudius"! She was in extreme pain and bleeding profusely. But on the positive side, she did break that record! For more tawdry tales (or tails), check out www. BillyMasters. com—the site that routinely breaks all sorts of records. If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters. com and I promise to get back to you before Hugh Jackman asks Geffen for his ex's number! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.