Billy Masters 11.13.25
"I don't know if there are any kids watching. But if you are, grow up straight."
Bill O'Reilly on "Real Time with Bill Maher." Curious words from someone who allegedly urged a female producer to rub a "falafel thing" on her.... We always thought he meant "luffa"—although neither seems particularly hygienic. What he meant for the "kids" was to grow up and stay on the "straight and narrow" ...unlike him, apparently.
Last week, I was seated in the second row of a theatre. In front of me were four empty seats. In due time, two older ladies sat down. Just before the show started, four other people appeared with tickets for all four seats. Discussions ensued until the first ladies pulled out their tickets. In what was perhaps the greatest line reading of all time, one of them said with complete innocence, "You mean this isn't Row R?" Yes, because so many theatres begin the Orchestra section with Row R! They quickly scurried away—only to later be spotted in Row F. I have yet to determine if it was an issue of guile, malice, or presbyopia.
The performer I went to see was the incomparable Sam Harris, accompanied by the equally astounding John McDaniel. The high esteem and affection I hold for both has been duly noted. This was my first time seeing Sam since his vocal troubles during Covid, so I had some concerns—which were quickly alleviated. He is in fine fettle. In fact, his voice may be better than ever. This new show, "Beyond the Rainbow", is marvelously constructed with a healthy balance of witty showbiz anecdotes and new material alongside the expected showstoppers (apparently it is always 11 o'clock at Casa Harris). One cannot ignore the elephant in the room—or the lack thereof. Sam has lost a staggering 55 pounds. He's as svelte as a schoolgirl, and has seemingly turned back time. If you get the chance to see him, run, don't walk! BTW, some photos and videos can be found on BillyMasters.com.
People on both sides of the pond rarely agree on things. But one thing sources in both the US and UK governments tell me is that the Andrew formerly known as Prince holds the key to a number of bombshells. Whether he spills them or not depends on who he'd like to help—himself or us Yanks (Andy knows a thing or two about yanking). While he's under no obligation to speak, he also doesn't have royal prerogative to hide behind. Still, a certain Louis wannabe should be mighty concerned. You know what happened to the last Louis the crowd turned on.
Speaking of Brits, canoer (canoeist?) Kurts Adams Rozentals found himself in hot water after filming an "edgy" video in an airplane lavatory. The footage was for his OnlyFans account. "I have been posting videos that are consciously made to be edgy in order to drive conversations to my 'spicy content page', to fund this ultimate dream of going to the Olympics." The problem was, he posted the footage on his public Instagram account. Well, that was too much for Paddle UK, who apparently frown upon their athletes playing with their paddles in public. They ruled the video showed "indecent, offensive or immoral behavior" and called it an "offensive use of social media." They banned Rozentals from competing for two years—essentially killing his Olympic dream. Kurts is fighting back, saying he didn't show any actual nudity. "And while I understand the video could be described as crazy, it was not illegal and certainly shouldn't be the reason for banning an athlete." You know where he ain't banned? On BillyMasters.com.
Elsewhere overseas, the Netherlands just voted in their first gay prime minister. And his partner is an Olympian! 34-year-old Rob Jetten is engaged to Nico Keenan, who is actually a two-time Olympian from Argentina. That's the good news. His sport? Field hockey. It ain't just for future gym teachers anymore—at least not in Argentina!
Congrats to Jonathan Bailey, who was named "People" magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive". It's been noted that he is the first openly gay man to hold this title—although there are at least two non-openly gay men who have dabbled. That aside, this honor has always troubled me. They pick a new guy every year. So does that mean that the previous "alive" titleholders are chopped liver? Bailey now tops Pitt, Clooney, Idris and Jackman? Now, there's a visual I could get behind! Last week, Jonathan proved he's as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside. After Robert Irwin did a "Wicked"-inspired routine on "Dancing with the Stars", Bailey sent him flowers with a note that said, "You are the shiz, Robert. You've done all the Fiyeros proud. Cheering you on from afar. Big love. JB." If that doesn't tempt Irwin, then he must really be straight!
Did you know that Bailey had one very notable fan? Marianne Elliott directed Jonathan in the gender-swap version of "Company" in the UK back in 2018. Three days before Stephen Sondheim died, Elliott told him that she'd be directing Bailey in a revival of the play "Cock" in London's West End (I saw the original production with Ben Whishaw and Andrew Scott). Sondheim allegedly closed his eyes, put his hand on his chest, and said, "Be still my beating heart." Another casualty of Bailey's beauty.
Another Jonathan made some news last week. When asked if he thought his character in a "Mean Girls" sequel should be gay, Jonathan Bennett was pretty direct. "I think Aaron would be straight because I wouldn't want to change the narrative of Aaron Samuels because Jonathan Bennett is gay." Finally, someone talking sense.
Lots of readers have been writing in about "Queer Eye" Jonathan Van Ness. He has transformed himself with a 70-pound weight loss. He reveals it began with some "medical issues" he had in 2023. In addition to portion control and Pilates (thank you, Star Jones), he adds, "I want to note, GLP-1s have been a huge help." He says he "didn't feel good", and adds that his whole life he wanted to see an ab—and now he can. "But I want to get one thing straight. I was always really, really cute. And I always felt cute, but I didn't feel good. And now I feel good."
Then there's sexy Scott Clifton, who appears as Liam on "The Bold and the Beautiful". The formerly hunky actor who was perfection to this viewer has lately been sporting a much leaner frame—which has led people to inquire about his health. Yes, his character had brain surgery for a tumor...that he actually didn't have (it's a long story). But insiders say his weight loss is due to stressful marital issues off-screen rather than health challenges on.
I've held onto this week's "Ask Billy" question for a while, because there wasn't anything timely about it...until now. Will in Chicago: "I know you watch CBS soaps. Have you checked out 'Beyond the Gates'? The guy who plays Smitty is so hot—and so familiar. What do you know about him?"
That would be Mike Manning—previously on "The Real World: DC" way back in 2009. At the time, he identified as bisexual (he has since married Nicholas Tocco). Over the years, he's done a fair amount of acting and producing, and last year joined "Beyond the Gates" as Bradley "Smitty" Smith. His character is married to Martin—making him part of a gay interracial couple. They even have adopted kids! In a recent episode, his character made the following speech: "We can't pretend that sex wasn't in every song we listened to growing up. Or on every season of 'The Real World'." Mike showed the clip online and gave kudos to whoever wrote and greenlit that line. For those who didn't know, he explained how that related to his own experience. He relates that when he moved to LA, his agent told him never to mention "The Real World" if he wanted to be taken seriously as an actor. "And now, here we are, all these years later. On 'Beyond the Gates', whichever writer decided to incorporate that line into my character's dialogue, it's so funny. Well played. Art imitating life. It feels so meta. I don't even know who it was or how you found out, but well played. That's hilarious." Well, Mike, it's not really much of a secret—especially since people can watch the clip on BillyMasters.com.
When life is imitating art, we've definitely come to the end of yet another column. While I try and investigate how Sam, Jonathan and Scott lost all that weight, you can check out www.BillyMasters.com—the site that will keep you on the edge of your seat. If you have a topic for me to tackle, send it along to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before someone charges Jonathan Bailey with the murder of Stephen Sondheim. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.