Billy Masters 01.09.25

"If any young people are watching, at a certain point in your life, you will become the people you used to make fun of. And that's what we've become."

Anderson Cooper during his New Year's Eve telecast with Andy Cohen.


I dunno how it took 29 years of columns and scores of Hallmark movies for me to finally recognize the truth in something I've said for years—you CAN'T have it all. People tell you that you can, but let me tell you the first truth of the New Year. Life is full of hard choices. If you really want one thing, you must miss out on something else. If you want to lie on the beach, you cannot be in Antarctica. Take it from me...and Lacey Chabert.

Let's make that my New Year's resolution—to tell you the absolute truth...as often as humanly possible. So here's one—for the first time in decades, I did not ring in the New Year with a Lindsay Wagner movie. That's because Miss Wagner didn't make a movie this year. I ran into this problem last year, when I reached out to the producer of "When Jack Came Back"—a film that hadn't yet come out (it can now be seen on Tubi). I was one of the first people who got to see Lindsay playing a mother with Alzheimer's. How many of her dozens of fans around the world can say that?

Speaking of ailing parents, the news is not good from Casa Masters. It started a few months ago with Big Daddy. Now Big Mama is laid up. And you know who picks up the slack...among other things? Yours truly. You know what a crimp this puts into my sex life? "What's that beeping? That's just Mama's life support, baby. Does it turn you on? No, that steady noise doesn't mean anything!" It's been hell! I certainly don't begrudge them the care and attention they deserve. And I certainly don't wish them ill. But lately I'm starting to envy Conan O'Brien.

Patti LuPone hosted a swanky New Year's Eve shindig with a number of queer (and queer-adjacent) guests. Folk like Randy Rainbow, Cole Escola, and...wait a minute—was that Nicole Scherzinger? Yes, the former Norma Desmond and the current Norma Desmond joined forces for a spirited rendition of "Auld Lang Syne"—complete with at least two-and-a-half part harmony. That they didn't duet on "The Perfect Year" is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity lost forever. At least they toasted each other with Norma's last line from act one of "Sunset Blvd"—which you can see on BillyMasters.com. BTW, after their duties on CNN, both Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen slipped into the soiree—at least I think it was a soiree they slipped into.

By the by, Patti is everywhere. After enjoying a scenery-chewing role on "Agatha All Along", we hear La LuPone will be featured on several episodes of "And Just Like That..."—whenever that long-awaited third season drops.

Believe me when I say this next story shocks me. I can't believe it, but I have to kick off the New Year by talking about Blake Lively. But I was intrigued when I saw there were claims of sexual harassment. How disappointing to find out that in the marriage of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, the one being sexually harassed is....BLAKE! It's a world gone loco. She filed a suit against Justin Baldoni, co-star and director of "It Ends With Us" (he's quite a looker, too). He claims that his countersuit will "shock everyone". I don't know how many shocks I can take—I'm already shocked I'm writing about Blake Lively! In Baldoni's $250 million suit against "The New York Times", he talks about a meeting with Lively and Reynolds. Allegedly Ryan "aggressively berated Baldoni during a meeting at their penthouse in New York, accusing him of 'fat shaming' Lively." Justin says it wasn't "fat shaming". He says he simply asked how much Miss Lively weighed before a scene where he had to pick her up. Why? Baldoni has chronic back issues and wanted "to ensure he could safely perform the lift without injury." Calm down, Justin. You're lifting Blake Lively—not Chrissy Metz (and that's not fat shaming—that's just physics).

Wendy Williams rang out the new year by landing back in the news. On the positive side, she was celebrating her son Kevin's college graduation in Miami. Paparazzi spotted her outside a restaurant on a scooter—yes, a scooter. She was overheard yelling to someone, "And then both of you walked away leaving my shit in the street? Just get the car, please—and make sure it's the right car!" When asked if everything was OK, she explained that her caretakers called the wrong car. While they went to find the right car, they left her scooter unattended and she was not having it. "This cost a fucking mint, and they just left my shit out here." At least she sounds feisty.

It's only the first week of January and we've already got a story that we're filing under "Strange But True"—and, no, it's not about Blake Lively! This is about someone I hold in almost equal esteem—Keanu Reeves. Sidebar: a few months ago, I told you that he's reuniting with his "Bill and Ted" co-star, Alex Winter, for a Broadway revival of "Waiting for Godot" by Samuel Beckett. Didya know that production will be staged by Jamie Lloyd, who directed the hit revival of "Sunset Blvd"? And, no, none of this has anything to do with the current story. Last year, Keanu's LA home was burgled. Fast forward to the final days of 2024, and police in Santiago, Chile seized loads of stolen property. And what do they find? A Rolex inscribed, "Keanu Thank you JW4 2021". It was a thank you gift he received at the wrap party of one of those "John Wick" movies that I've never seen.

Before we filed this column, I saw this headline: "Josh Duhamel, Dylan Sprouse & Til Schweiger To Topline Action Thriller 'The Neglected'". OMG, have I fallen into a time warp? Is it 1995 all over again???

Just before 2024 closed, a couple of deaths crept in. The first was the beloved Linda Lavin, who died on December 29th. Her representative stated, Linda passed "unexpectedly due to complications from recently discovered lung cancer". Days earlier, she wrapped filming on the seventh episode of "Mid-Century Modern"—a sitcom for Hulu already being called a gay "Golden Girls". It concerns three gay men who live together in Palm Springs, one of whom (Nathan Lane) is accompanied by his mother (Linda Lavin). When Linda learned of her diagnosis, we hear she told producers she wanted "everything out there on the show". There are already plans to write her character's passing into the penultimate episode of the first season. What will happen during season two? Stay tuned.

Hours before midnight, Jocelyn Wildenstein died on New Year's Eve. Affectionately known as "The Catwoman", Jocelyn was the face of bad plastic surgery—the epitome of the word "botched". She was also a very wealthy lady, receiving a $2.5 billion divorce settlement and alimony of roughly $100 million per year! Her longtime companion, Lloyd Klein, said she died while taking a nap prior to heading out for the festivities—"just to look good before getting dressed". How'd that work out? By the by, the 84 year-old never admitted to any of her "procedures".

Our first "Ask Billy" question of the year comes from Ray in Seattle. "What do you know about Denali Foxx? I just saw some pics he posted online and couldn't get over his really hot body. Has he ever done porn?"

I'm always glad to talk about someone I've never heard of. Denali Foxx (aka Denali) was on "RuPaul's Drag Race" back in 2021. Looking online, I see Ray is correct—Denali is quite buff. Not a big surprise, because many of the most fetching fellas who wear frocks are in incredible shape. His birth name is Cordero Matthew Zuckerman, and here's a fun fact—he's a double gold medalist in US Figure Skating! He also worked with Cirque du Soleil, Royal Caribbean Cruises, and SeaWorld—but don't hold that against him. Last year he got engaged to longtime beau Alexander. He posted this: "Six years ago you asked me to dance...and six years later I asked you to marry me on your 30th". I don't believe they've tied the knot...yet. To answer Ray's other question, I don't find any evidence that Denali has done gay porn—but I bet he'd be pretty popular, as you'll see on BillyMasters.com.

When we're kicking off the year talking about Blake Lively, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Here's yet another fun fact—most drag queens out there are tops! They'll fuck you with their pumps on (don't ask me how I know). More bits of my sage wisdom can be found on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that certainly ain't botched. New year, new questions. Send them along to [email protected] and I promise to get back to you before Lindsay Wagner makes another movie! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.